#Repeating Cycles compilation

[officalrepeatcycles-comblog]

Chapter 1: Parts 1-10

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[raayllum]

The Point of The Dragon Prince: The Phoenix Motif

Intro

I don't think it's a surprise to anyone that The Dragon Prince is about cycles.

It's in the dialogue and the visuals, with the series itself being an exploration about the Cycle of Violence and how to break it / the Chains of History. Framing and spells and character choices continually repeat over and over again, as @kati-corn beautifully points out with their parallel compilations, sometimes drawing from 4+ seasons at once, such as in TDP's repeated trial scenarios (3x02, 4x06, 6x09, 7x02, 7x09).

The cycle I'm going to talk about, though, is a little different. Cycle 2.0, if you will, otherwise known as the Phoenix Motif, is decidedly different from The Cycle the series has always drawn explicit verbal attention to. Specifically, rather than The Cycle of Violence that is inherently 1) destructive, 2) negative, and 3) needs to be broken, the Phoenix Motif presents something that is more positive to neutral leaning. Not all cycles are bad, after all — take the cycle of the seasons for example — and this is something that TDP itself even addresses, loosely, within the Moon Arcanum in Through the Moon:

LUJANNE: There is a cycle in the world. Life and death. It is at the core of all things. The moon embodies this cycle. Bit by bit it will fade away; then bit by bit it will brighten. [...] Death is frightening. Birth can be as well, yet there are the two things that connect us all. Kings and commoners, rich and poor, elf and human — each is equally vulnerable in the beginning and the end. Let that fact be humbling. Let it bind us together. Remember that as life inevitably leads to death, so also does life comes from death. This is a cycle, not an ending. A phoenix dies, yet from its death it lives again. A phoenix is uniquely tethered in the both life and death, and yet it is like the rest of us: a part of the cycle.

3x06 specifically confirms this as well, with Ezran stating of Phoe-Phoe:

However, this sentiment of death and rebirth — perhaps even perpetual, eternal death and rebirth — should already probably be pinging something in your head.

Now, in retrospect, this isn't exactly surprising. TDP loves to be really fucking literal, taking what would otherwise be abstract concepts and making facets of their world literally embody it. I remember after S2 or S4 thinking about how, if the thematic antagonist of the show is History, having a super old super ancient being — the embodiment of that history — as its endgame villain was really smart, honestly. Aaravos — and the Cosmic Council, thematically if nothing else — operating as antagonists and being literally cyclical, subsequently immortal beings? Yeah, it checks out like painfully well.

However, the more I though about this cycle — destruction as well as rebirth, death as well as life — I thought about how much it's been shoved in our faces consistently without even realizing, and with increasingly interesting implications. To the degree that, as it stands now, I'm willing to make a bet on Arc 3's culmination and wager what, indeed, The Thematic Point has been all this time — not only for the main trio and Aaravos, as this meta initially set out to focus on — but for the Dragon Prince as a series in its entirety.

With that out of the way, let's get into it.

When The Time is Right

It's sort of an accepted fact, especially in literature, that near-death experiences can radically change a person's outlook on their life. Death, additionally, often represents the abyss or a pivotal transformation point that leaves the old self dead, with a new self surviving (or thriving) that has been fundamentally altered. Death can be the end, or it can be a transformation, provided you get a second chance.

HARROW: I may not have long, so I am forced to ask myself... (2x06)

RUNAAN: I have a family I love. I have so much to lose, the very things I took from you. (7x09)

For Viren and Runaan, at least, this has fully come to fruition. Both engaged in dark work that led to their demise. Both were saved by their daughters, and both were fundamentally changed by their 'deaths', resolving to stop treating others, or themselves, like they were already dead ("They're gone, Amaya! Captured by a Moonshadow elf! If [the princes] aren't already dead, they will be soon enough!").

Both ultimately resolved to stop chasing revenge (or in Viren's case, power) in favour of trying to prioritize their families; both returned to Katolis, fell to their knees before Ezran, and swore they had changed. That they could make amends and would, if given the chance.

Viren dies and then is reborn, fundamentally different, and then dies again with his heart literally on fire and surrounded by flames. Runaan, meanwhile, requires for the fire in Ezran's eyes to be doused, and is brought out of water, not fire, but the point still stands. Their destruction was pivotal, if not narratively crucial, to being recreated as better versions of themselves.

Staring down limited time, much as Harrow had before him, caused Viren to ultimately realize his old friend was right: "I am a servant." Runaan's second lease on life caused him to realize he'd put his family through strife and perpetuated an awful cycle for well-intentioned but twisted reasons, and that he had to stop. He had to change.

HARROW: These moments of greatest strength look like weakness to those who don't know better. For a long time, I didn't know better.

I will not make the same mistake again. I will not watch another daughter die.

This three very similar — servants to their causes, devoted to things greater than themselves, lost in violence of the cycle they're perpetuated, granting their children immense and burdensome responsibilities — and very different men also tie into Lujanne's statement. Viren and Runaan were both, seemingly, born commoners, while Harrow was born a king; he was given everything, whereas Viren strove not to be and Runaan trained himself to be, alternatively, "nothing". Yet the cycle of life and death, and ultimately the hope their children could be different from themselves (expressed particularly blatantly for Harrow and Viren) equalized them all. As I've said before, the Cycle of Violence creates similarity — with the Phoenix Cycle/Motif doing so in a more full circle, potentially positive manner.

It remains to be seen whether Harrow will indeed be released from the bird (a quasi-literal phoenix, if you will, if we're speaking about on-the-nose symbolism); I could personally see it going a number of ways. It's also not clear how much he will have changed upon release—Viren changed somewhat quickly and gradually following his ressurection, whereas Runaan did much more of 180. Unlike Viren or Runaan, Harrow didn't have to die or be trapped to reach his epiphanies; he reached them on his own before the actual acts had happened. Staring down the barrel of a metaphorical gun was enough for him, so it stands to reason there's not too much internal change to be had besides "Holy shit has the world changed" and an adjustment period.

[Sidenote: This is, I think, another aspect that Karim differs in. On a textual level, Karim is irredeemable, because as discussed in more detail elsewhere, due to him seeing his loved ones as JUST his enemy and no longer as his loved one in addition to being his enemy. His sister becomes just his enemy and a false queen, not those things and his sister; child is just his heir, not his child and his heir.

Karim wishes to set the world on fire, but doesn't understand that he'd be transformed alongside it; his complete aversion to change even when everyone else (Janai, Miyana) can and does adapt to it keeps him stuck.

Karim is the only "father who fucked up by disavowing his child's life" (hi Runaan, hi Viren) who doesn't come back from it, too. On a subtextual/symbolic level, I think it's interesting therefore that he's the only one of the 4 that doesn't have a death. Like Harrow or Runaan, he's imprisoned, but he's never believed to be dead by himself or anyone else; the closest he gets on a literal level is in 4x09 where, like Runaan, he's on his knees as he says "Finish this," but is spared and (eventually) imprisoned instead. However, Karim is offered a symbolic death of sorts — to relinquish his name, whatever that precisely means, in 7x03 — one that he readily dismisses. He never has to grow because he never really conceptualizes, on a certain level, his own mortality: either he's not thinking about it (and the subsequent possibility for failure it would entail) or never muses over it. We're going to circle back to this, but for now...]

That said, I think these Harrow-Viren-Runaan are probably the most obvious example of this death-rebirth motif in the show, next to Aaravos or actual Phoe-Phoe. They were, at the very least, what immediately came to mind when I thought about what I wanted to be in this meta.

The next section, I think, is a little more interesting.

For a Thousand Years

Archdragons live for a long time. Like, a really long time—3,000 years basically minimum, potentially 7,000 years maximum, but who knows. We know that Sky Archdragons only lay an egg every thousand years flat out (1x05) which does not bode well for not living an ungodly long amount of time in general.

One of the things that set me on this meta path, I think — and something this meta has helped me consolidate that I kinda knew I was dancing around but not quite able to hit upon or fully bring together — is a previous meta I wrote looking at immortality in TDP. Simply put, TDP doesn't have a very positive view on immortality (more on that later) as most of the characters who are immortal or at least have enduring lifespans don't seem to like being alive for that long very much.

Sol Regem is deeply depressed and bitter; Rex Igneous laments that objects all turn decrepit over time and seemingly has no companions he actually cares for. The Draconic Royal family seems to fare uniquely better precisely because they have each other.

Likewise, all three also fall under the Phoenix Motif.

Zym is believed to be dead from within the egg (very bird like) but is brought back to life (1x02, 1x09) from his discovery and his hatching. He is also fundamentally changed as a result of being rescued and bonding with elves and humans (particularly Ezran) as opposed to just bonding with Xadians. (More on Zym and his ultimate potential narrative purpose here and how being stolen/saved might've saved him and the world in other ways, too).

Avizandum dies (3x06) but his spirit is resurrected/brought back by Ziard and Aaravos under dark magic necromancy. He ultimately dies again protecting his son (7x09) but successfully this time. He also ties into the Fathers' Rebirth Theme of in the past prioritizing conquest and/or power (he loves to destroy human armies, "it makes him feel big and powerful") after his son came into his life ("this is a special day of life, do not force me to make it a day of death" / "that's why Thunder was willing to spare us. He had to get back to that egg"), which parallels Harrow-Viren a bit more than Runaan, but bear with me.

Zubeia is effectively dead when the trio shows up in 3x08, given that we've known she's actively dying of a broken heart since 3x04. (She has a similar terrible slumber in 5x09 that she just manages to recover from thanks to Mukho, but that is treated less like death and doesn't fit the motif quite as well because she doesn't have a big personality/life change afterwards. She does, however, post-3x09, abandoning the cycle of revenge (1x01) to actively pursue peace and breaking the cycle instead (S4 onwards) to the point she dies for Zym, yes, but also to save people whose lives were upended by her choices: Callum (thematic dark mage still deserving of salvation in this instance), Ezran (a former target), and Rayla (assassins sent to die) + others as add ons of similar ideas (Runaan, etc).

But again, this is all... kind of background stuff. At the very least, it's a consistent pattern bordering on theme (particularly for the group of fathers), but it's not really in the foreground in any meaningful way for the centralized main characters (and trio and co). Not even quite subtextually yet, either.

And then it Is.

All of Us May Be Reborn From Darkness

Season seven is when all of this started clicking for me. I don't know if it's because things finally moved into subtext territory, or because S6 had primed me to expect something like an obsession arc from Callum (a la the fathers' group) in future seasons or what, or even if it's just because the show ramps up the Phoenix Motif to much more obvious levels with the trio and Aaravos, but it was very exciting and beautiful to behold, I think.

Let's break it down piece by piece, starting with Ezran, as he's the most straightforward / blatant. I've talked about Ezran's interplay wth the Phoenix Motif in greater detail here, but I will go over the key points:

In 7x01, Ezran's kingdom and identity as king ("and as a king, I choose love over strength") is burnt to ashes. This is directly verbalized: "King of what? King of ashes?" + "He's not himself right now" (7x02).

Ezran experiences a significant loss (the remainder of his True Heart) which literally alters him

Ezran continues to change, pursuing weapons for most of the season (7x03—7x09)

Aaravos' death "set(s) the world on fire" + the fire reflecting in Ezran's eyes in 7x09 much the way the fire filled Aaravos' eyes when talking about his plans ("I want them to suffer. I want them to hurt")

Ezran chooses, therefore, to not be a king of ashes in forgiving/sparing Runaan. He also works on building Evrkynd (and Katolis), literally rebuilding the world from ashes.

Wat's presented above are the broad strokes / overt symbolism of Ezran's arc from a structural / plot standpoint, and we see the rest of the trio be reflected in this. Rayla probably gets the second most overt one during her trial in the Silvergrove, hence the title of this section:

Like the moon itself, all of us may be reborn from the darkness. To achieve that rebirth, you must prove yourself worthy of absolution and forgiveness.

This is stacked on top of a few different things, of course. For starters, Rayla as an assassin carries the implicit "I am already dead" framing that Runaan carries explicitly through dialogue. This thread of hers isn't necessarily resolved by the end of the season even if Runaan's is, but I expect hers to bleed over into arc 2. There's also the idea of rebirth, which is spelled out more explicitly in 4x01 being titled "Re-Birthday" in reference to Viren.

The third layer, if you will, is the more direct one: her status as a Ghost (dead) seeking to be reborn into her community. And, by the end of her trial, this is precisely what happens.

Rayla's rebirth from darkness (the new moon, and perhaps a symbolic state of total uncertainty in comparison to half-truths) also sets up Callum's. Not only does the dialogue in her trial scene echo the poem from his father in 6x03 ("And newborn sparks born of the dark"), but it also aligns with his choice of whether or not to use dark magic again. Granted, in some ways, his rebirth and resumption of status happened in 6x06—that maps on better to Rayla's trial in terms of outcome and symbolism. You were once exiled/corrupted, this meant that you were already dead (a Ghost, Callum's "kill me" request), and upon facing your truth and/or remembering who you are ("Rayla of the Silvergrove" / "Find the one deep truth") you are brought out of that darkness and into light as a reforged form of yourself. Rayla can now be seen, Callum though blindfolded saw her, and reintegration happens: Rayla is let back into her village, she and Callum fully resume their relationship on mutual terms.

She's brought home in a physical and emotional sense, reconnecting with her community and with her changed self. In her time away, she's learned a lot of lessons about justice ("A life for a life? Is that justice?" / "No one should have to spill their blood for justice. No one"), sacrifice/suffering ("No amount of suffering, yours or mine, will ever bring him back"), and asking for help / depending on her family (5x04, 7x04). Arguably, 6x06 offers Callum something similar if you view Rayla as his home: finding her as his one truth restores his body/soul (physical) and provides emotional clarity (emotional) to bring him back to himself and her (as a fundamental part of himself) as a reunified Home ("my home now is wherever you are").

But I said trio in S7, not Ezran&Rayla in S7 + Callum in S6. So, what's going on with him in S7?

Callum's thread with the phoenix motif is one that is both very much evolved forwards in S7, yet also left hanging more so than any of his counterparts. While you can look at S7 Ezran (7x01—7x09) and S7 Rayla (7x01-7x04) and go swiftly from point A (destruction) to point B (rebirth) across the season, Callum's is less straight forward in some ways because his destruction-salvation is both created and 'resolved' within 7x09. There is a very quick turn around from "I'm going to destroy myself with dark magic" to "I don't have to die actually" and even then, Callum arguably leaves the season in the worst place out of the trio, given that he's still corrupted.

This is also, in some ways, where the trio's phoenix motif starts unravelling, however, because as much as S7 began that motif for them with a neat little bow... Arc 3 looms on the horizon and honey, they've got a Big storm coming. This is for a few reasons.

The first is that Ezran is the only one with an explicitly ideological rebirth within the season. As mentioned before, he has the most explicit and complete journey within the phoenix motif model. He's destroyed (7x01), fundamentally physically altered (7x02), and then experiences a complete rebirth wherein he walks out changed and still changed for the better (second half of 7x09). Whereas before Ezran chose to believe people could be good because he believed they fundamentally were, 7x09 Ezran now chooses to believe people can be good even now that he knows fundamentally they are not or may not even want to be, or at least not always. (A mood, bud.) Being good is an active, continuous choice, for everyone now—including himself: "I'm going to forgive you" is a choice, not necessarily one that reflects your current feelings.

Conversely, Callum and Rayla are far more the same person at the end of season seven as they were at the beginning. This is lampshaded directly through their dialogue, with Dark!Callum’s argument boiling down to Callum’s lack of confidence in a non-dark magic route (“If you’re so sure, why did you save it? [...] You know you might need me after all”) for something that already happened post-purification and in 6x09 in keeping the coin. Rayla, too, harkens back to concepts from many previous seasons, most notably her assassin vow all the way from 1x01: “My heart for Xadia!”

Where Ezran is pulled and pulls himself explicitly back from the brink when given another chance to remake or unmake his choice about Runaan, Rayla and Callum (and Zym) thus far have not been offered a do-over of their choices in 7x09, whether literally or symbolically. That may be in Arc 3, though it’d make sense: if Ezran got an ideological rebirth, them having new ones would fit both the Phoenix Motif pattern and trajectory. Callum, in particular, is primed to completely revolutionize but one thing is for sure: all of the trio is going to be haunted by Aaravos’ inevitable return and the beginning of his (life) cycle anew.

And with Ezran having had one complete ideological destruction and rebirth cycle... what about Callum, Rayla, and Aaravos?

Your Deaths Mean Nothing (Aaravos)

Here’s a question: what makes a sacrifice meaningful? Must a sacrifice be made by an entirely willing, self-aware participant? (“A child will die.” “Yes.”) Must a sacrifice be fulfilled / permanent to have poignancy?

If you cannot ever die in a meaningful way, can you ever live or sacrifice in a meaningful way?

This emphasis on morality as a prerequisite for meaning was something that was kicking around in my head after S6 since we'd learned that Startouch elves both could (Leola) and couldn't (everyone else) permanently die, or at least that killing them permanently was exceedingly difficult... as well as the contemplation on mortality based morality from other shows like The Good Place. This wasn't, at the time however, something I thought we'd really dig into. After all, there were lots of good, other reasons to have Aaravos and Startouch elves function this way: it made Leola's death more tragic, it upped the ante of how to kill Aaravos immensely, and it helped Aaravos embody the themes of History and the Cycle even further by having him be an ancient walking piece of history whose lifespan was literally a cycle, as mentioned previously.

Season seven, then, shifted things.

For starters, it confirmed that Aaravos seemingly isn't concerned with keeping his actions secret from the Cosmic Council ("Are you watching?") / other Startouch elves, which doesn't exactly make sense with what we currently know. After all, we know that the Startouch elves could kill Leola permanently, and Aaravos was more powerful back then than he, seemingly, is now. Shouldn't he be concerned? Couldn't they kill him the same way they did Leola if they wanted to?

Well, hm... what if they can't? What if through dark magic or other means he's preemptively removed his own immortality? (More on this theory here.) Alternatively: if the Cosmic Council can still kill him, and Aaravos wants to kill them, we still kinda end off on the same place.

Either Aaravos has made himself immortal in a way they are not, dooming himself to being unable to ever die by proxy of removing his own minimal mortality that Leola had, or he will kill anyone who could kill him, and be doomed to exist forever or die by his own suicidal hand. 

“This world is an instrument of pain, of torment. To exist in this world is to suffer. Even death is no reprieve.” 

Aaravos’ views on the world and sacrifice, however, are immediately juxtaposed by Ezran’s and the Archdragons, set up all the way back in 4x08.

N’THAN: ... give [Rex Igneous] your gift of sacrifice and hope for the best.

EZRAN: We offered gifts that meant a lot to us, but the truth is, they don’t mean anything to you. (4x08)

AARAVOS: And what will your sacrifices buy? Mere moments of peace before I return to a world without you? Your deaths mean nothing.

EZRAN: They have given us a great gift: a chance to keep on living, keep trying to be better. (7x09)

Avizandum and — particularly — Zubeia are able/allowed by the narrative to lay down their lives for their son, a choice the Cosmic Council robbed from Aaravos. Their deaths are permanent, and their gift, as Ezran identifies, is a sacrifice that should not be wasted: “life is precious, life is valuable” / “I have a family I love. I have so much to lose”. While Aaravos says that their deaths mean nothing because of the impermanence of staving off his return — because to die or resist is futile, to live is to suffer — Ezran asserts the opposite: that their deaths and the victory it afforded his family, temporary as it may be, alternatively means everything to him (and within the broader narrative) precisely because life is worth living... and if you believe that life is worth living, giving it up is indeed a sacrifice.

So now onto Aaravos’ death in 7x09. He chooses to send Claudia away rather than risk her dying alongside him, but he doesn’t die or allow himself to be taken down in order to save her, or arguably chooses to die consciously at all. His explosive end is not, perhaps, exactly what he had in mind when coming to corrupt the sun, but it’s also an immense setback. If anything, it’s the opposite, given that it allows him to get rid of the Archdragons, weaken Xadia, and leave his human foes (Callum and Ezran in particular) wonderfully paranoid about his return. (More on Aaravos’ master plan here, for anyone interested.)

Aaravos, after all, doesn’t care about anything so much as he cares about getting his revenge. As Terry identified, his love has been twisted largely beyond recognition, enabling him to destroy the world and creatures/people his daughter once loved so much. He’s willing to endanger and manipulate Claudia and anyone else around him in order to achieve it. He’s an immortal being beset with grief, and therefore exists outside the cycle of life and death precisely because he’s not bound to it.

At least, that would be the easier way of looking at it... because while that was my initial line of thought as of season 6, Lujanne’s description of the Moon Phoenix (our thematic microcosm for the Startouch elves) sits in direct opposition to it: 

A phoenix dies, yet from its death it lives again. A phoenix is uniquely tethered in both life and death, and yet it is like the rest of us: a part of the cycle.

Aaravos and the Startouch elves — regardless of if he’s removed his ability to die, regardless of if they can kill each other — do not sit outside the cycle, separated from everyone else by their immortality. Instead, they are as interwoven as everyone else. And as noted, many of the show’s characters have had emotional or plot related Phoenix Motifs: Aaravos dies in a fiery explosion, only to return — like Phoe-Phoe — when the time is right.

This is also, of course, connected to what we’ve already discussed regarding fathers. Runaan and Viren are both saved by their daughters, brought out of death and into life, and are fundamentally changed as people because of their experiences. Their death and ‘resurrection’, as noted, allows them to change, as does Harrow staring death in the eye make him deeply rethink his life choices. Alternatively, Karim — who does not care for his future child(ren), does not come back from this brink, and who rejects the symbolic death offered to him (relinquishing his name) — does not change and meets a grisly end.

What I am saying, then, is that while having Aaravos get out and then be given a soft reset so we can have another timeskip works perfectly fine as is from a plot standpoint... I wonder about how meaningful it’d be if they don’t Do Something with it for him from an emotional standpoint, too, the same way Viren, Runaan, and Harrow underwent (though Harrow could still, admittedly, have further stages to go through). After all, TDP is very good at having what looks like 1-3 things be actually 6-9 things when seen retrospectively (re: Aaravos’ master plan meta) so I can’t imagine that Aaravos’ death and return won’t be that, too. And there is, to some capacity, no real reason to have Aaravos care about Claudia somewhat genuinely in season 7 if we’re not going to do something with that; he didn’t need to in order for Claudia to form a deep attachment and alignment with him. We could’ve had little smirks as he continues to use Leola’s memory to manipulate her (the way he does in 6x09, minus the smirking) and while we get spades of that (“I am her father now and she is my daughter”) and should see everything he says to her as a double edged sword... There is truth to “I will not watch another daughter die” that will likely stick with him and continue to grow.

Remember how I said Callum, Rayla, and Aaravos have lived through the plot version of the Phoenix Motif, but not fully the ideological/emotional one as of 7x09?

Arc 3 would be the perfect time, then, for the three of them to get an ideological rebirth journey (similar to Ezran in season 7, or Viren in arc 2, or even Soren in arc 1) to reflect the way Xadia as a whole will be. 

So let’s talk about it.

We’ve All Made Mistakes. We We Don’t Have To Keep Making Them (or The Point of TDP)

Again, I don’t think what I’m saying — characters in TDP must break the cycles of violence, destruction, and death, and choose creation/life/love over it — or that it’s a repeated pattern is new information. As demonstrated above, we’ve seen this pattern over and over again in the show because it’s kind of what it’s all about. 

Characters in TDP rarely become something entirely brand new, instead moving forwards in order to move backwards at the same time, and become truer, better versions of what they wanted to be all along. For an oversimplification, Soren goes from (bad) crownguard to enemy to (good) crownguard in arc 1 (“I am a crownguard, and he is the true king!”; Viren goes from a good father / high mage (1x01-1x03, flashbacks) to bad ones (1x04-5x09), and then back again (6x01-6x08). Sometimes this follows a linear enough progression, but sometimes it doesn’t. 

If we view character journeys through the lens of the Big Lessons the characters have to learn (i.e. Rayla learning she doesn’t always have to sacrifice), arc 1 and arc 2 demonstrate immense growth and regression for her simultaneously. She’s moving forward — she’s letting people in, letting them help her, shedding her assassin identity, coming back to Callum — and moving backwards — keeping secrets, being more jaded, “My heart for Xadia,” continuing to be an assassin by sacrificing herself (3x09) and particularly others (5x01, 7x09) — at the same time. By the end of the series/S10, I expect she’ll finally be the protector she’s always wanted to be without needing to sacrifice herself or others. After all: 

TERRY: Maybe he saw there was another way forward. One with less darkness and sacrifice. It’s never too late to change. 

The Archdragons’ sacrifice is beautiful and meaningful, but Aaravos isn’t entirely wrong: it’s a band-aid on a bullet-hole situation that is just a temporary fix, and from a narrative perspective, it’s still a sacrifice, the thing we are trying to avoid. While the Archdragons sacrificing themselves to save everyone else — or Viren sacrificing himself through dark magic in 6x08 — was the right thing to do, it was still a tragedy. Aaravos’ death in 7x09 isn’t to anyone but Claudia because Aaravos doesn’t care about his life: his life has no meaning other than revenge, and therefore his death has no meaning other than revenge, the same way Karim’s death by Aaravos’ hands is utterly meaningless (if also a loss to his family). 

If your life is devoid of love and meaning, then you have nothing meaningful to sacrifice and die for.

So what would be the biggest change for Aaravos — one who, as far as we know, cannot die and therefore cannot live nor sacrifice meaningfully — to have? For his life to take on new meaning. 

AARAVOS: To go on without her would mean an eternity of pain. But in that moment I chose to live, and my life took on new purpose.

To have love; to have things you don’t want to lose. That you don’t want to sacrifice. To want to live. To want to move forward, truly forward, rather than constantly looking back at the past and making the same mistakes (darkness, death, sacrifice) over and over again.

EZRAN: You say that I should believe you because you are great and ancient, that I’m too young to see clearly, but I think it’s the other way around. You’ve spent so long seeing the world through a lens of hate that you can see any other way to get what you want. But I can. 

If Arc 1 and Arc 2 are both ultimately growth and regression for the characters involved, then it would stand to reason that Arc 3 has to have a final closing note of emotional growth and zero regression. But is that really possible? As stated, things in TDP don’t become totally new: Soren becomes a true crownguard, Viren becomes a true father and high mage, Rayla or Runaan become true protectors of the collective good, etc. Even Xadia as a continent will not be something radically different from what it was before: elves, humans, and dragons used to all live together, and humans had primal magic. What we’re working towards in present day canon is, on the surface, the same as what the world had before... and it didn’t work, leading to thousands of years of violent fallout. 

A better way to phrase it, then, might be focusing on TDP’s plot and character structure moving forward into Arc 3 not as growth paired with a lack of regression for once, but as a total restoration arc. Of getting back to the good places characters or societies had left — integration, reconciliation, primal magic — but as a fully completed whole: no hierarchy, no dark magic, no darkness or sacrifice. 

To see another way — “I see a different path!” — and to walk it in its entirety as an entire narrative. To fix what was actually broken in Xadia, to realize condemning the full Cosmic Council or Aaravos to death over a world they never cared for is not the path forward, but to create caring and opportunity, to enact verdicts with “mercy and compassion” (4x06) and void of cruelty (6x09). 

For characters, like others in the narrative and Xadia itself, to become a truer version of what they always wanted to or said they would be. For Aaravos, that would mean being an actual ally to humanity; for Callum, that would mean being an entirely primal mage; for Rayla, a true protector without sacrifice, etc. We don’t know what the Cosmic Order’s aims were beyond well, Order over chaos, but we can assume peace and tranquility. The peace and tranquility they tried to enforce was really indifference or neglect at best and outright hostile hierarchy and oppression at worst.

I don’t think we can just one-hit-perma-kill all the Cosmic Council members (though perhaps one), but ultimately the majority will likely stick around or change in some manner. To become what they were supposed to be, as Aaravos and everyone else does the same. An ideological rebirth from the bottom up and the top down to the point that we’ve gone from 1 to 100 and back again to square one, but Good, this time. 

AARAVOS: [Leola] loved this world, and all its flaws. 

EZRAN: There is no such thing as utopia. But with patience and persistence, we can build a better place.

Because Xadia is flawed and is broken, and has been all this time—and it is still worth fighting for and saving.

She’ll Be Reborn: A Conclusion

I made a lot of fancy promises early on, so as we wrap up the Phoenix Motif Meta, here’s a list of general predictions I think we can hedge our bets on if the show continues to follow this model:

Aaravos will return from his 7 year death and change pretty shortly after reuniting with Claudia and seeing how he’s changed. While he once dismissed or increased why Viren was concerned about Claudia’s path, Aaravos will now come to fear it in a similar manner (S9, S10). Insert the “you are destroyed by what you create, and grow to emulate what you destroyed” pattern here, the same way Viren initially disagreed with Kpp’Ar and Harrow, destroyed them through entrapment, and then realized both of them were right (big asterisk in Kpp’Ar’s case, but you know what I’m saying).

Ezran will uncover more about the Orphan Queen and why she didn’t kill Aaravos with the Nova Blade, going a step further to realize they shouldn’t try to imprison Aaravos again either.

Aaravos, Callum, and Rayla will undergo ideological rebirths, as will some of the Cosmic Council (thereby enabling Aaravos’ as well), as will Claudia (who’s been steadily associated more and more with fire as the series has gone along).

Fun bonus Harrow being literally reborn from a bird and/or Kpp’Ar getting out of his shiny coin

Leola herself will not be reborn, but what she represents will be taken up as a mantle narratively by the main group

A final restoration of an integrated Xadia (i.e. both halves of the continent, but also the Cosmic Council with mortal Xadia, too) and more easily accessible primal magic

And I don’t know: a world reborn from the ashes, for good in manner and in finality this time? I think it’d be fun to see.

[frogl3gs]

Hi. I stopped posting because I realized I was using this as a place to complain a lot and it was creating this sort of negative spiral for myself so I’ve been journaling a lot more. Anyway I need to ruminate and seek reassurance so I’m posting.

Today I was supposed to start a 2 week long vacation - just a stay-cation, maybe a night on the coast by myself, nothing fancy - just super burnt out at work (long, uninteresting story - bad boundaries, a personal problem I love to repeat).

So I’m like 2/3 of the way through my first day where I’ve told myself that I’m on zero time schedules and absolutely not pushing anything. Today I just give into my whims (as long as it doesn’t fuck up my sleep hygiene). So I’m not doing anything like laundry, cleaning, because I know I have time and will have the house to myself and I’m looking forward to the alone time to really be introspective and reset.

Welp. M gets fired today. For whatever fucking reason, idk. It is REALLY hard for me to have pity for him right now. He’s moping around (look- I GET IT) and in the back of my head I’m just like…..idk I don’t want to even type it out because I know it makes me look like a bad person. (I know I’m the villain here)

He just started this job, maybe????? A month ago? And in the transition of his old job to this job, his previous employer let him take his 3 weeks of vacation, plus there was a week before starting this new job. He got 4 weeks off, 3 paid, with another job lined up, no stress and did so much fun stuff. He was able to relax and really close that stress cycle.

I had two days off all of last year because like I said, bad boundaries. And this was the time that CEO and I agreed on I could take (he took 1 week over Xmas and then 10 days in March bc we agreed I could have 2 weeks at the end of May - my parents were supposed to come out but they didn’t). This was part of a trade off and I think totally healthy (from a relationship and work perspective, not a personal perspective), I could have taken time earlier but this is what I chose to do.

I’ve been questioning working at this company - not because of my bad boundaries but because I didn’t know if I was good at it. I have recently received a ton of objective reassurance that I am really good at this from outside third parties but there’s also the data - taking a company from less than half a million to multiple millions in revenue with an above industry average EBITA margin. I was promoted to COO ~9 months ago and was able to turn around a sinking ship. This all with *no prior industry experience.*

This 2 week leave I was going to take the time to just sit in silence and journal or art journal out my feelings and if I think I can really handle this job - do I think I can do the job without sacrificing my wants and needs? Can I be myself and do this job? I have a whole list of questions to respond to that I’ve spent the last 4 months compiling. I cannot do that with a crying man in my space!!!!!!!! Sucking out all of the emotional energy out of the room!!!!!

I have such a hard time connecting with my emotions that I’m seriously considering booking a room at the coast just myself for 2-3 days just to give myself the space. I have the money. I made sure that when we moved into our new space (we bought a house!) that I would set up our accounts and that the math worked so that we could live only on my salary if needed. He had been complaining about his previous job for so long I knew there was going to have to be a change.

And this was the time I set aside for myself to figure my own self and things out. I need the space and I think the lesson is that I need to stop putting it off and just take it and I don’t care if he takes it personally, he can talk about that with his therapist. I need space to figure my shit out and to rest and recover and so I think I just have to grab it and give it to myself because literally no one else is going to give it to me.

Anyway feel free to tell me your thoughts or what you would do. The prices at the coast are astronomical because I forgot about Memorial Day weekend so maybe I’ll find a place in the woods or something.

I might delete this at some point 🙄

[worldunbent]

chapter notes - natori shuuichi

a compilation of all of midorikawa's chapter notes concerning natori (as of volume 29)

all are from the official viz releases, translated by lillian olsen.

Chapter 7 - He Can See For the first time, Natsume meets someone else who can see yokai too. I was pretty nervous because I was breaking the established rule that only Reiko and Takashi Natsume were different. Natsume kept running away from yokai, but I made Natori into an expert who kept proactively learning about yokai. I wanted to draw someone who indentured yokai even though he doesn't like them. I wanted his mark to look a little like a human figure upon closer inspection. Natori doesn't like Natsume's hypocrisy, and Natsume doesn't like how Natori doesn't bother to explain his actions and makes himself out to be worse than he really is. I feel like Natsume finally realized how difficult it is for people to understand each other, no matter how similar or different they are.

Chapter 11 - The Meeting of Exorcists l enjoyed being able to do another story with Mr. Natori. I have an easy time with plots that advance by things happening, but there isn't as much emotional content, so l was nervous about reader reaction. But they seemed to enjoy it because it was unusual. Natsume is surprised that there are so many others who can see yokai, but he can't even tell yokai and humans apart, so most of the crowd he saw were yokai. And I hadn't drawn a human woman (Ms. Nanase) in a while. There should be lots of things Natsume can learn from Natori that wil make life easier, but it's an interesting question whether those lessons will alter his relationship with yokai. Will he be able to come to an understanding with people who share the same abilities? I was happy to reveal a little more about Reiko, but the difficulty is that focusing on her story would disrupt the episodic nature of the series.

Chapter 14 - Natsume Goes to the Hot Springs Natsume went on his first overnight trip. I wanted to try all sorts of things since Natori was making a repeat appearance, but then I was given the chance to have Natsume be the first manga in that month's issue. Since it's an important slot, l aimed for a story suitable for first-time readers. The two of them have gotten so used to lying with smiles on their faces, but they’re finally realizing that there's something inherently wrong with that. Natori is good at giving advice, but not comfort. At first, l used to feel oddly sad when I was drawing stories about Natsume and Nyanko Sensei, but these days I feel that way with Natsume and Natori. Maybe that means they're starting to understand each other.

Chapters 20 - 22 - Takashi's Friend Natori gets a thankless role, but I don't want to draw just kindness all the time, so he's very useful. When two awkward, clumsy people get together, things might not always end well, but I like such people anyway. It was fun to draw Taki again, and a child like Kai.

Chapters 23 - 26 - Inhuman Thing I didn't have a chance to write a story about Matoba until now due to page constraints or manga cycling issues in the magazine. I had fun when I finally got around to it. Matoba's appearance means Natori's hardships become more obvious. Natori settled upon his current philosophy after a lot of reflection. But then he sees Natsume wrestling with the same choices and slogging through the same place he used to be, and it's both amusing and frustrating at the same time for him. Natsume might realize this and not be able to presume so much on his kindness. Natsume and Natori are left with a problem, so l hope to take my time drawing them dealing with it.

Chapters 39 - 41 - The Harvest Festival The idea was to have Natsume and Natori get asked to do conflicting sides of the same job by yokai and humans, respectively. But when you give these two the same objective, they somehow hesitate, to see how the other makes a move, and agonize over whether they’re doing the right thing. They really shouldn’t be so alike, but it’s like they’re staring into a mirror. This is how they struggle for a solution, while Nyanko Sensei and Hîragi sigh in the background, I’m sure. They take pity upon each other that they have few friends. They want to remain friends and equals even when their opinions differ, and yet they have a strange inferiority complex towards each other.

Chapters 49 - 51 - Beyond the Glass Tanuma wants to help and tries to help, but he can’t. The more he tries to take action, the more he comes up against this wall. Natsume gradually realizes that while he wants to talk to Tanuma, it also puts him in a dilemma. Seeing this, Natori wants to say, “I told you so,” but he hopes that Natsume will be able to succeed where he failed. I was also excited that I could draw Sensei/Natsume with expressions that he doesn’t usually make. Natsume is really not very expressive with his face.

Chapters 52 - 54 - Behind the Chains Natsume is now able to face a variety of things. But I also feel that the distance between him and Natori grows each time they encounter one another. They see the same things and hope for the same outcome, but because their paths are a little different, it's hard for them to take action when they're together. It's a strange feeling. I'm sure Natori wants to remain Natsume's ally, and Natsume wants the same with Natori. I'm happy I got to draw more about Matoba, too. Whereas Natori tries to do what's right and is afraid of making a mistake, I think Matoba is the kind of person who doesn't fear making mistakes.

Volume 14 (Sidebar notes) It feels strange - I'm not quite sure if he's changed since he first showed up. His thoughts towards Natsume are changing, but maybe the man himself won't.

Chapters 60 - 62 - Different Eyes The Book of Friends is the reason yokai come after Natsume. He wants to talk to Natori about it, but since exorcists are a threat to yokai, and since he literally holds the fate of many of them in his hands, he doesn't want to betray them. Back in volume one, Natsume might've taken the Book of Friends and disappeared with Nyanko Sensei somewhere if he really got into trouble. But working on this episode, I don't think he'd be able to do that any longer. How things have changed. I looked at Natsume trying to understand Tanuma even though they live in different worlds, and I thought he was doing the right thing, but the whole thing also felt comical. I wondered how Natori felt when he saw Matoba making Natsume help with the exorcism work. This case was frustrating for Natori, who had to witness his old mentor become so oblivious that he could no longer see yokai in his own house. I think the existence of Natsume, with his different opinions, and Hîragi and the others, continue to affect Natori. I would've liked to draw more about Mr. Takuma and Tsukiko, so I'll do it when I get another opportunity.

Special Episode 15 - A World Without Distortion This was a story I've been longing to work on. I couldn't fit in all the parts I wanted, even though they let me do a two-parter, so I hope to get another opportunity some other time. I'd like to show more of the dilemma and frustration of wanting to do the right thing but having your actions distort your goals.

Chapters 72 - 73 - Closed Room Natsume had made up his mind to keep the book of friends a secret, but Natori ended up overhearing about it from another yokai - quite an undesirable situation. He decided he couldn't pretend it didn't happen. I think it had great meaning for Natsume to tell him with his own words, albeit belatedly. Meanwhile, since Natori had some clue about what it was, I think Natsume's decision to tell him meant more to Natori. I think he's the kind of guy who would act differently based on whether Natsume was willing to tell or not. I can't describe it very well, but with these two, when one of them steps forward, the other stalls out. I was happy I was able to draw Ms. Nanase again.

Chapter 77 - The Two Rings This was another story I had always wanted to do, but the timing never worked out, so I was very happy to get to it now. When I'm drawing Natsume, I always agonize over his dialogue and pick his words carefully. But when I'm drawing the Matoba clan, I don't have to think about the impression they're making, and I just use words that pop up in my head. Mr. Natori is somewhere in between. It's always a bit refreshing to draw the exorcists. I hope people form their opinions of Mr. Matoba based on what's on the page. In good ways and bad, he's a character who lies but is also uninhibited.

Chapter 78 - Tsukihigui I wanted Natsume to have different reactions that usual, so I picked a story not in the past or in the present, but a weird in-between. I debated a lot whether to have little Natsume be taken care of by the Yatsuhara yokai or the humans Tanuma and Taki. But upon further reflection, since Nyanko sensei is yokai, Tanuma and Taki would have a different approach to the situation and be more fun. It would've been interesting to go to Natori and have all three of them stare at each other with furrowed brows, but I discovered that whereas Natori would have a difficult time adapting to a situation like this, the students would display steadier nerves.

Special Episode 17 - A Hand Extended They let me do another episode of Natori as a high school student. There was another anecdote I wanted to include, but it wouldn't fit, no matter how hard I tried to rearrange things. Still, I'm happy I could depict more of Natori and Matoba's relationship. Sometimes you can't come to an understanding with a person, but once you become aware of your own feelings, you can often begin to be more objective. Then you start to see aspects of the person that change your mind, which is natural. But unlike Natsume, Natori can be stubborn and won't allow his feelings to change. It was interesting to see how Natori would feel about the aloof and unwavering Matoba.

Chapter 87 - Natsume in the Moonlight This one was 30 pages, so it was compact, but I wanted to make something that was a little creepy. You know how it's exciting to see a friend late at night, in a different light? This story couldn't be done with Tanuma, who knows Natsume's circumstances. It was only possible with Nishimura, who wouldn't question who the person in front of him was. If Natsume went to visit Kitamoto at night, he'd panic, scold him and send him home. And Tanuma would notice that something was off and cross-examine him. It would get even more out of hand with Natori, causing a domino effect. Though all of them would be fun and exciting. I only realized after the fact that someone who knows about Natssume's circumstances would make things more complicated in this type of story.

Chapters 92 - 94 - The House of Promises I have a memory of some boys climbing the gate of the town hall to pick some loquats at the end of spring and getting scolded. I made it seem like spring when the chapter appeared in the magazine, but then I heard that loquats ripen in early summer, so my older sister helped me race to redraw the clothing into something more summery before the graphic novel release. I enjoyed drawing the exorcists. Mr. Natori just can't catch a break and Mr. Matoba has many things going for him, but he often gets shut out. They don't really get along, and they're skeptical of each other even when real empathy is extended. Natsume is always at least trying to listen, so conversations are easier with him present. No matter what, Mr. Natori is older, and Mr. Matoba is younger. End of story. When I include the exorcists, there are all these dilemmas and convolutions that make things complicated and fun to draw. It feels fresh to me. I get nostalgic for the first time Natsume and Mr. Natori met when they're together. Their bond is getting deeper, but it was easier before for Mr. Natori to casually invite Natsume on outings. When you know someone a long time, there are more things to say, but sometimes, just as many things remain unsaid.

Chapters 103 - 104 - Where Vessels Lie in Slumber* I was so happy to work on a longer story for once. My head starts filling up with what to do next while I'm still working on the current episode.when I'm in one-shot mode. But being able to linger on a story arc reminded me of the excitement I felt back when I first wanted to be a manga artist. I still have a lot of storylines I'd prefer not to cut short, so I hope I get more opportunities like this. I've wanted to do this particular story for a long time, but. I feel like it could only be done now because of how Natsume's currently feeling. I hope you can pick up on how Natori and Matoba's relationship changes subtly depending on the situation, and that you get a feel for their solidarity as exorcist peers. It was so fun drawing everything I wanted to include: Natsume's faith in his friends; Natori's belief that he can still offer help even as an exorcist; Matoba, who's sometimes prevented from action because he knows and sees too much; Tanuma, who's surely able to help, but is unable to accompany Natsume; the cats protecting their secret; Nyanko Sensei. And of course there were even more things I wanted to expand on, so I'll take my time working them out.

*The first three chapters of this arc are in the previous volume and there's not enough in the other note for me to include.

Chapter 116* - The Younger Cousin This is a story I'd been saving for a long time. I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do, and I was worried about whether I could pull it off. I finally managed to thanks to my editor and everyone who supported me. I hop I was able to depict Natori's point of view, since he slips between the yokai and human worlds much more than Natsume, and how that appears from the yokai point of view. While Natsume has a narrow set of experiences in a narrow field, Natori has so much freedom and yet somehow seems much more trapped. I hope I can depict the path he's taken and the path he's going to take.

*Again, this arc is split between volumes and there wasn't much in the previous afterword.

[mcbride]

Daryl Dixon Rewatch S1E06 - Coming Home

it's the first ep with an English title and the last of the season. overall, i wanna say i was actually surprised how much i did enjoy watching. the complete focus on Daryl without all the background noise/storylines/characters, the way he still means what he says, but he's actually using his words and lots of sass instead of the typical nodding and grunting. good job!

but i gotta confess that if i hadn't known beforehand that Carol was going to be a part of this show, i probably wouldn't have bothered 🤷‍♀️. the fact Carol's not only back on screen, but she is such a great part of the whole vibe of the show, was actually unexpected. this show is straight up showing us Carol is the driving force in Daryl's relentless journey to get back home.

whoever tries to convince you Daryl is conflicted about where he belongs and where he wants to be is lying to you (pointing at you, Z!!). he literally spends 6 whole episodes reminding everybody he's got a home, people who love him waiting, a promise to keep, and a need to get back asap.

it doesn't mean Daryl does not form connections while on that journey. because he does - the strongest with Laurent, obviously, however, none strong enough to hold him back from his ultimate goal, which is going home to keep his promise to CAROL!

anyways, let's get to the season 1 finale:

the super!walkers fighting scene in the arena is pretty epic: from Daryl's super cool kill with the French flag to that Daryl/Quinn team up! the cherry on top being Daryl throwing that walker head at Genet. Loved IT!

Quinn eventually does help Daryl escape, and later, unfortunately, almost kills Isa, who is once again totally helpless against any kind of threat (killer nun, my ass!). in a scene eerie similar to the one in Daryl's underwater premonition a couple of eps ago, Daryl prompts Laurent to kill walker!Quinn with a "God will forgive you."

Laurent says something that sounds like it will be the whole point of Caryl's French adventure. "Sometimes you have to do horrible things, and no matter how bad you feel, if there is no other choice, God will forgive you." this feels like the key to breaking out of the cycle Carol has been stuck to since she was banished by Rick. (i'll probably post my s2 spec and theories next week!)

next, we see Daryl watching lovebirds Sylvie and Emile saying goodbye, they have to separate (i see what you did there, Z!), and reassures Sylvie that Emile will be alright before she asks him if he's ever been in love. BOY, has he ever!! Daryl's non response is quite telling. he knows what it feels like to say goodbye to the one you love without knowing if you'll ever see them again. and he's not alright, he's all the way in a whole different continent, separated by the Atlantic ffs.

we get some new insight into Daryl's origins when he and Isa share stories about their fathers. Daryl believes that his grandpa never returning home from war ruined their family for future generations and worries the cycle might repeat itself. has Daryl been reading about generational trauma? sharing this with her will bite him in the ass, later!

Isa's confession of her lie about the drawing gets absolutely no reaction from Daryl because it had zero influence on what happened next. Daryl didn't stay cause he believed in a new Messiah, he stayed because the kid was about to get in trouble, when Codron attacked his home; he stayed because it was a way of finding help getting him closer to a radio or boat to actually get him home; he stayed so he could take the kid to a place where he would be safe, and Daryl could finally leave without feeling guilty.

the great Daryl and Isa exchange looks compilation is trying too hard to show us, yes, Daryl has made a connection to these people, and is fairly content at the Nest with Laurent and the most mundane activities like peeling potatoes. they are showing us Daryl could stay here, make this his new home. why not? HE MADE A PROMISE! no matter what he could never be happy here, this is not his HOME.

Losang gives him a way out, but also tries to convince him to stay. "Sometimes, when a person leaves home, he comes to find he belongs someplace else." and it's true, if Daryl didn't know where, with whom he belonged. and it's not with Laurent and Isa.

it's really embarrassing how Isa tries to manipulate and guilt trip Daryl into staying with them using Laurent and Daryl's history. it has been like 2 months tops, and they acting like Daryl himself gave birth to Laurent, and wants to abandon his kid. bitch please, he has kids he actually raised and a wife back home!!

Daryl resents his grandpa for abandoning the family to fight in someone else’s war, and that's exactly what he would be doing if he chose to stay in France. that's what Isa will never understand - he had a whole full life with people who looked up to him, relied on him, loved him, before he even met her and Laurent. he wasn't lost. the connection he found with the people there isn't new to him, he has Judith and RJ, he has Connie and Zeke. but most importantly, he has a HOME (Carol!!!).

there's this beautiful emotional moment of Daryl quietly saying goodbye to a sleeping Laurent, and it's clear this kid means a lot to him. however, not nearly enough to make him stay. he still chooses to LEAVE. so many people trying to convince him he belongs with them, and he is still 10000000% sure he has to go back. there truly is ZERO hesitation.

i lost count how many times Daryl actually tried to leave, but it was always the kid's safety that kept him around again and again. he is so close to getting on that boat, literally fiercely fighting walkers to get to the beach, to get closer to HOME, and the same happens AGAIN. biggest FML moment for Daryl. Laurent, who is surrounded by walkers, is calling his name! FUCK ME!

and finally, we get to the highlight of this finale, Carol's badass entry. the way she's so absolutely calm with a big dude pointing a gun at her, PLEASE. she knows he's fucked around and is about to find out. no one takes Daryl's belongings and gets away with it.

"if you're lying, i won't be back." and she rides off on Daryl's bike. ICONIC. LEGENDARY. EPIC.

21 days left until the premiere of THE BOOK OF CAROL!!!!!

[365sylviaplath]

Week of 5/5 - 5/11

astrology forecast + collective tarot card for the week

Card for this week: 10 of Swords - endings, closure, finality to some big chapter in your life. there is likely some grieving or mourning to this ending you’re facing, but allowing yourself to feel those feelings will let you begin anew in something that actually serves you best! this is not always a new ending you’re confronting - it’s more than likely many of you will still be needing closure from a past betrayal, hardship, sudden ending, so on. notice where you might be feeling sorry for yourself. take the time to grieve the things you’ve lost so you can pick yourself back up and meaningfully enter whichever new realm calls to you.

Transits/Astro forecast: continuing to explore the depths. pluto freshly retrograde, mercury entering stable/steadfast taurus right after contacting jupiter and chiron. you’re compiling and communicating whichever aches and pains have been hiding below the surface, as recovery requires you to state the situation at hand. you’ll be able to power through, but first you’ll have to see it. that perpetual venus/north node/saturn conjunction in pisces is finally broken up after quite a few weeks of poking relational wounds - take inventory of what you’ve learned so far this year in your emotional life. jupiter is also loosely squaring the north/south nodes this week, notice where you might be blocking your own blessings. notice where you count yourself out unnecessarily. current retrogrades: just pluto.

monday 5/5 - mercury sextile jupiter - expand your mind today! get curious, explore, express yourself, try new things, see the world. you never know what a new perspective can offer you. 

tuesday 5/6 - venus sextile pluto, mercury conjunct chiron - in those inner depths today. the 3rd of 3 times we’ve had venus sextile pluto, thanks to venus retrograde - some closure on this transformative cycle we’ve been in since ~february. you’re digging into the spiritual, esoteric, unseen parts of yourself, your tastes, desires, so on. part of this is also noticing where you’re sensitive or where you’ve been hurt in the past, pertaining to vulnerable feelings or sharing pieces of yourself with someone who might not have been receptive. if you taught yourself to hide these parts of yourself, you’ll become aware of how unsustainable this is. being authentic is the only way.

saturday 5/10 - mercury enters taurus - time to ground ourselves! build sustainable interpersonal/communicative practices, stand in our truths, say what you mean/mean what you say, so on. mercury in taurus is deliberate, determined, grounded in the body/physical experience, driven by trustworthiness. take your time and really think through your next steps. notice where you might be just repeating a familiar pattern that isn’t serving you vs maintaining consistency in a healthy way. interrogate why you respond the way you do and if you’re holding yourself back for any reasons - think of what might’ve come up earlier this week to guide you. 

[thelonelyarchon]

🧶✂️ SEVERED FATES

Pairing: Artem Wing x Rosa, Artem Wing x Fem!Reader (in future chapters)

Summary: (Unofficial summary) Artem Wing is regularly praised for his ability to compose himself in any situation. Despite bombarding himself with paperwork and cases to appeal at court, he never once found himself in a situation where he was totally lost and helpless... that is until his birthday arrives. Plagued by nightmares and sudden illness this time of the year, it's a yearly tradition of the young senior attorney to pray at Cloudbreak Temple since he entered lawschool, the year it all began. It was the same thing every year. Pray and pray for answers. But what if... this year is different? And with the arrival of a mysterious but familiar heiress, he might just get his answers.

"Find what was severed and repair it," said the monk.

But... what must he repair?

Content Warning: Mentions of chest pains, unconscious Artem, overworking, description of fatigue, slightly unnerving imagery of being shot, does not follow Tears of Themis timeline religously, slightly ooc characters, angst (?), not-proof-read

Author's Note: This is an experimental post/prologue! I've had this crazy Gufeng!Artem x Fem!Reader angst fic at the back of my mind since last year and I was too scared to write it. Luckily, I found mysekf writing it earlier today after I finally got the go sign to stop my medicatiom for anxiety. What a better way to celebrate it than writing something that I was scared to bring into life beforehand! Anyway, if this gets positive feedbacks and interested readers, then I'll continue the series!

“AND THAT is why you should take this opportunity to rest, Artem. You’ll exhaust yourself this way,” Celestine pinched the bridge of her nose as she fought back another wave of nausea. The older senior attorney and co-founder of Themis Law Firm was in her first trimester of pregnancy, and her stress was getting to her.

Artem refused to look at Celestine. The pile of paperwork and casefiles sitting on top of his desk prevented him from doing so. He had been stuck in a vicious cycle of ‘work, eat, sleep, repeat’ for the last three weeks as the firm had an influx of cases to be handled at the end of March and early April. Nearly all senior attorneys in the firm were preoccupied with their cases, and Artem had the higher task of overseeing all of them.

“I know how to take care of myself, Celestine. You, on the other hand, should focus on your health and not on mine. You’ll exhaust yourself this way.” Artem lets out a small huff as he smiles to himself. Celestine’s mouth was wide agape.

Did Artem just throw her concerns back at her?

“You’re unbelievable,” she sighs. “I really can’t persuade you, no?”

Artem shakes his head without lifting his gaze from the paper he’s scanning. Using the blue silicone page-turner he has on his index finger and thumb, he smoothly flips through another page or two while scanning its contents.

She figures that she can’t persuade the young attorney no matter what she does. After all, Artem just earned another title in the industry: senior monster attorney.

“But I’m being serious now. Like for real, this time. Artem, I know you want to keep me stress-free… but I can completely manage my nausea in court. I can help you. It’s not like I’m incapacitated mentally, too!” Celestine argues.

In the two years he’s been working with Celestine, they’ve developed a sibling-like relationship. Artem understood where her concern was coming from. To be frank, he doesn’t know when was the last time he had a proper sleep. Usually, he’d go home late in the night only to eat and then do some more reading and compiling of evidence until he fell asleep. He would wake up to his alarm blaring, hastily dressing himself up for work before arriving at the firm to continue where he left off the night before. He would be lying if he didn’t admit he was overworking himself.

“I’m fine, Celestine. Reading more won’t hurt me.”

“Yeah, it won’t but I will hurt you if you don’t rest now while I’m still being kind,” Celestine turned her back to him and crossed her arms. She walks towards the door before turning her head at him again only to emphasize what she said. “That’s an order from your boss, Artem! Rest or you’re fired.”

For the first time since the moment Celestine entered his office twenty minutes ago, Artem lifted his head to look at the senior attorney. Maybe it was from the frustration she felt but Celestine wasn’t smiling. He gently dropped his pen on his table and closed the folder with the casefiles he was supposed to finish reading by lunchtime.

He rests his elbows on his desk and uses the back of his entwined fingers as support for his chin. He learned it is best not to provoke a pregnant woman or he might just have to deal with her tears. He is efficient at dealing with court trials, but he’s aware he’s useless when it comes to stopping women’s tears.

“Fine, Celestine. You won,” he leans back on his chair and loosens his necktie. Now that he took the time to relieve himself of his duties, he could feel the fatigue consuming him.

His eyes feel itchy and dry from all that reading, and he knows he may just need a pair of glasses if he continues to abuse his eyesight like this.

When was the last time he slept well again? Yesterday? Two days ago? Maybe.

“Mr. Wing, I have here last month’s pending civil cases! These haven’t been looked at yet so Kiki was hoping if you could-”

“Ah! Rosa, there you are! You’re just in time!” Celestine exclaims as she claps.

Rosa jolts back in surprise as Celestine bombards her with a hug. She laughs nervously and looks at Artem. Her smile drops upon seeing his face. He looked… like a homeless man. He looks horrible!

“I’m on time for what…?”

“I have an important favor to ask of you and it’s more of a personal favor, but I’m willing to give you a bonus for it!” Celestine said.

Rosa’s eyes widened as she stepped back and raised her hand. Just what happened here? A bonus sounded tempting, but Rosa knew that when Celestine asks for personal favors these days, it usually involved three things: pregnancy cravings, dealing with impertinent clients, or Mr. Wing.

And with the sight of Artem casually sprawled over his office chair nearly passed out from fatigue, she knew she should be nervous.

“Ah… hahahaha… uhm. Ahem! C-celestine?”

Celestine grinned and moved behind her. She pushed Rosa inside the room towards Artem and stood by the door. She reaches for the handle.

“Rosa, make sure Artem doesn’t step foot inside the law firm for the next week or so nor have him hold anything related to work! That’s an order. Don’t worry, I'll count both of your absences as a paid one-week leave,” she slyly smiles. Rosa was horrified.

She will… babysit Artem for a week!? She should feel happy that despite chilling around for the next week or so, she was still being paid. But… she’s spending her week with Mr. Wing!? Now, now! That’s uncalled for!

“N-now h-hold on for a second, Celestine–!”

Celestine laughs as she pulls the door close. Before she could close it, she left her with one more instruction, “Oh. One more thing. Artem’s relieved from the cases he has right now except for next month’s trial. And by the way, it’s nearly the 26th. Keep an eye on Artem, will you?”

Rosa’s eyes softened when she saw the genuine concern on Celestine’s face. She knows Celestine and Artem’s mother are close, and she treats him like a brother. It was also Mr. Wing’s birthday week. But for some reason, there was something deeper behind the meaning of her instruction.

Keep an eye on him… for what? Or… from what?

As soon as the door clicked shut, Artem let out a sigh. Rosa turned to his way.

“That Celestine… really,” he sits up from his chair. “I’m sorry you had to do this. You may refuse to do so if you like.”

Rosa shook her head and offered him a smile. “It’s alright, Mr. Wing. At least it’s me you’re with. That way, I can still bend the rules and allow you to sneak a peek at your work from time to time,” she winks and gives him two thumbs up.

Artem chuckles as he smiles warmly. “Right. Well, help me arrange these files. I’ll leave the other cases to Celestine and I’ll bring the ones for next month.”

“Copy that, Mr. Wing!” Rosa said enthusiastically.

As Artem stood to fix his things, he noticed the calendar sitting on top of his desk where the keys to his car were placed in a bowl. The date April 26th was encircled in red marker ink ominously. Artem holds his chest as the familiar sense of foreboding creeps up to him. He sighs and shakes his head.

Rosa notices the sudden change in his demeanor. “Are you alright?”

Artem looks at her and smiles. “Yes. Also… would you like to come with me to Cloud Break Temple?”

Rosa’s eyes sparkled at his offer.

Cloud Break Temple… their spot. It’s been a while since they’ve been there.

“Of course… Artem.” She said softly.

_____________________________

“WHAT are you going to pray for, Mr. Wing?” Artem looks at Rosa as she speaks. Currently, they stood at the arch at the entrance of the temple. Many tourists and locals were climbing the long stairs up to the temple. Some were students, some were elderly, and some were even pregnant.

The bustling sound of the temple and the bells and windchimes comforted Artem. He never really admitted it, but for some reason, the temple was a safe refuge for him. Although, during the week before his birthday, he would feel an ominous shadow looming behind him.

“Hmm, nothing. I was just going to pray for well-being.” He said.

“Ah! If I remember correctly, last year you went here for your birthday, too. Is this a yearly tradition?” She asks.

“You could say that. It only started when I pursued law school.”

“Huh?” Rosa asked, confused.

Naturally, Rosa didn’t know everything about Artem despite the blooming affection between the two of them. Artem has yet to pursue her officially. However, in the short time she was able to work with Artem, she could somehow get a gist of who he was and how his mind worked.

It’s only been a year since she met Artem and worked for him at the law firm and NXX so this came as a surprise.

Artem looked at her and smiled. He reached for the top of her head and gently caressed it. Rosa’s cheeks were flushed. Artem could feel his burning too. He clears his throat and retracts his hand away before walking deeper into the temple.

The temple was still the same, although a few areas had been closed off for construction. When they got to the area to get their tickets, he found a familiar face. It was the old monk that had entertained them last year.

“Oh! It’s you two darlings again.” He started. Rosa and Artem laughed at his words. They greeted the monk together.

“How have you been? Are you here to pray for safety? What about the exam? Or, is it marriage again young man?”

Artem blushed as he shook his head and laughed nervously. “How I wished to, but it is not my purpose for coming today. I am here to pray for–” At the corner of his eye, he caught a shadow walking past him, stopping him in his tracks. The words remained at the tip of his tongue as he trailed off.

It was a shadow… no, it’s a silhouette. No… it was a woman who walked past him.

Before Artem could turn around to see who it was, he found himself clutching his chest as a searing pain radiated throughout his body. He falls to his knees.

In his mind, he thought his fatigue was finally catching up to him. Was it a heart attack?

“I can’t… I can’t breathe.” Artem muttered.

“What is wrong with me?”, Artem thought as he felt his consciousness slipping away.

“Artem! Mr. Wing! Are you alright? Can you hear me?” He could hear Rosa’s distant, frantic cries for help as people surrounded them. His eyelids fluttered open as he fought back to keep himself conscious. But it was so… heavy. It was just like the last time last year. It was as if his chest was just shot.

HIs head lolled back and his eyes rolled back as he struggled to fight back. He was sure he would lose consciousness now. His hand clutched his chest even harder. It was even more difficult to breathe. He could see the face of the old monk looming over his figure.

"Am I… on the ground? Why is the sky the only thing I can see?"

The monk's face was void of emotion as if studying the strange thing that he had just seen. But what is it? Why is he staring at him as if he knew this would happen and he knew why it happened? Artem couldn’t bear to look at the disappointment on his face. What did he do wrong?

He turns to his side as the last bits of his consciousness leave him. His eyes landed on the wishing tree, the same one on which he and Rosa had hanged their tablets. Visions began to form as he hallucinated.

Blink.

“Oh… what a lovely tree. It’s more luscious now this time of the year.”, Artem thought as the tree became much more younger-looking. It lacks the wooden tablets that were hung on its branches.

Blink.

“Who… who are they?”

A man and a young noble lady met under a younger-looking wishing tree. This time, the first tablets were hanged by the two. Two entwined fates, one lucky and one unlucky…tightly tied together to make a fortunate one.

“Why… am I seeing this?”

Blink.

It was only a split second before the scene changed again. Artem found himself screaming for help when an arrow was shot towards someone. Before he could see who shot the arrow, the searing pain in his chest became unbearable and the last bits of his consciousness finally slipped away as the arrow pierced his heart.

On the other end of the temple's grounds, you, the woman who happened to pass by the area, stopped to look at the commotion behind you. You tilt your head off to the side as you eye the young man who's sprawled unconscious on the floor.

"Who is he?" You asked the man in black beside you.

"A young man has fainted, Madam. It was the one you happened to pass by just now. It's not of your concern. The staff has called for help. We must leave now if we are to catch the plane by tonight." He said.

The urgency in his voice was unmistakable, but you chose to ignore him. You took of your sunglasses to take a better look at the man. Your brows twitched at the familiar face. Who would've thought the one lying on the ground and causing a commotion would be the youngest senior attorney in Stellis City? Artem Wing.

A slight smirk played on your lips as you thought of the Gods giving you a favor. Perfect timing. He's the right man you need for tue job you have in mind.

"Hugo," you gently eyed your bodyguard to signal hik to come closer to you. He quickly moves beside you to hear your request.

"Yea, Madam?"

"Get the car. I would like to personally bring the man to the hospital." You wore your sunglasses and turned around to exit the temple grounds. Younhear your bodyguard choke on air at your order.

"P-pardon, Madam!?"

"You heard me once. No need to make me say it twice."

"U-understood." He jogs back to the scene where a staff was frantically attempting to awaken Artem. You on the other hand, refused to look back. Once your guard was out of sight, you couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief.

"I hope I'm doing the right thing by helping you, Attorney Wing. Don't make me regret this." You mutter.

You though you should have a little more faith in him. After all, you just hit the jackpot. Maybe the gods really did hear your prayers today. With the case you were entangled with, sure enough Stellis's top senior attorney can help you win this and clear your name. 99.9% win rate? Yes, helping him is worth it. You just hoped he would think that way, too.

[queer-ragnelle]

Do you think one can just jump into the vulgate cycle? I have a vague understanding of arthuriana; I’ve read the Mabinogion, Monmouth, and Malory, but two-three years ago. Is there a text I should read before hand or reread these previous ones? Thank you so much!

Hi anon!

Absolutely you can jump right into the Vulgate cycle. Mabinogion and Monmouth predate Vulgate, and elements of those are repeated in the Vulgate, which is a complete story in itself. The Post Vulgate is then a condensed version of that, which Malory then condensed down again into Le Morte d’Arthur. So you’ll be familiar with some elements, but require no prior reading to appreciate the Vulgate.

Here is a tutorial that may help you navigate the Vulgate and here is a reader version by Norris J Lacy which compiles chapters from throughout the Vulgate.

But really you can pop open the Vulgate from the start and get right into it! History of the Grail is the first book which covers a lot of exposition stuff that will be repeated later during the Grail Quest, but is nonetheless interesting. After that is Story of Merlin which will cover stuff you read in Monmouth, like Merlin’s origin, but then continues to Arthur’s origin and gets into the Orkney bros as teenagers/young men! (And Mordred as a baby!) Lancelot Part I picks up with Lancelot’s story and continues on from there through the rest of the Vulgate. You can start with any of those books, but Story of Merlin is just so good I definitely recommend it.

I hope that helps explain things for you a bit! Here’s where you can read the Vulgate in full! Please let me know what you think as you get into it. It’s my favorite favorite favorite!!! Enjoy! :^)

[mareastrorum]

More Witcher 3 and World of Warcraft music! This time for C2 episode 3. Links under the cut.

This took a bit of work. It's harder this episode because the cast got more comfortable with quick dialogue, so there's very little break between one person speaking and the next person chiming in. There was also some Skyrim music mixed in there, and I'm not as familiar with that soundtrack. (You can hear some of it around 3:29:00 or so, then at the end of the episode.)

And in case anyone wants it, a general list is here.

I couldn't hear the combat music for the zombies, but right after combat ends at 33:53, Matt begins playing several songs from the Loch Modan set from World of Warcraft. The telltale woodwinds give it away. You can hear the signature motif about 20 seconds in. It's repeated in a significant number of those in this link, so I didn't bother trying to sort out exactly which songs he used. Around 1:54:00, Matt uses this set again, after the Tirisfal Glades themes (below).

At about 1:11:40, when the Nein head back to the inn, the Royal Palace of Vizima plays. This song also played in Episode 2 when Beau tried to convince Toya to go with her instead of staying with Kylre. (It's a villain theme! Foreshadowing!) It also plays briefly while the Nein meet Kylre and Toya on the island at about 2:41:40.

At about 1:14:00, after the Nein finish their long rest, Matt plays Family Matters, which shares several creepy motifs with the more recognizable The Orphans of Crookback Bog (played during the E2 introduction). Family Matters repeats at about 2:32:00.

At about 1:32:00, the hauntingly beautiful music with a lovely vocalist playing behind the cast joking about how Caleb is super quick at masturbating is Tretogor Gate (Midnight).

After that, Matt seems to cycle through a few background songs for Tirisfal Glades in World of Warcraft. This is a compilation of the entire suite of songs, but I don't think Matt played them in that order. I'm pretty sure I heard Evil Forest Day 3 and a few of the Mystery tracks. As mentioned above, Matt also repeats the Loch Modan set around 1:54:00.

It was hard to make out most of the combat music for Kylre, but at 3:04:30, Welcome, Imlerith (yet another villain theme) begins to play. The songs that led up to it may have included The Hunt is Coming and/or Versus Eredin, but I couldn't be sure because the music was turned down. I only made out a few dramatic chords. Welcome, Imlerith is the least busy of those songs, so I'm confident it was the one at the listed time stamp. It plays again around 3:21:00, so I guess Matt's combat playlist was around 17 minutes long. (If anyone is interested, the non-combat version of the song is Eredin, King of the Hunt.)

I'm like 75% sure the chanting at 3:09:10 and the warhorn sound at 3:11:38 were from WoW songs, but I haven't found them yet. Might be an Orgrimmar theme (city or raid) or a Horde hub theme, maybe even an Iron Horde theme from Warlords of Draenor--but I've got a lot of tracks to check. It could also be a Skyrim set, but it's been too long since I've played. I'll do a reblog if I ever find them.

At about 3:33:00, when Matt's playlist goes Heavy Metal, it's actually For a Higher Cause from the Witcher 2 soundtrack. It's very Final Fantasy, which I'm sure is the reason he included it. The Wild Hunt from the same soundtrack is a very similar song, with less prominent vocals.

After combat, Matt plays a few more Skyrim songs around 3:42:00 through the end of the episode. Hopefully someone who remembers the soundtrack better than I can pick those out!

Hopefully that helps you guys out with planning your own playlists. :)

[raayllum]

Mirrored Paths Trilogy #2: In the Name of Love, I Would Do Anything For You —Callum & Viren

Part 2 of a mini meta trilogy dissecting Callum, Karim, and Viren's parallels, with a special emphasis on S5. For the general overview, and if you want to read Karim and Viren's parallels, you can read that analysis here. It is useful to read but not necessary in order to understand this one, as this meta is Part 2 and will discuss Callum and Viren.

Now, I've talked a lot about Viren and Callum. Like, a Lot a lot. Therefore, I'm not going to repeat too much of their Arc 1 buildup here, and focus more loosely on their S5 parallels in particular. However:

If you're interested in their pre-season 4 buildup, check out these metas: How Callum and Viren have parallel arcs in S2, Relics, Rage, and Magic: The Callum-Viren Foils Meta, the foils screencap compilation post I've been cultivating since Nov 2019 pre S3 (updated to include past that point)

If you're interested in post-S4 thoughts, check out these metas: The Interlocking of the Cycle’s Wheel with Viren, Claudia, Callum, and Rayla, How Viren and Callum stack up flaws wise, I sure do love foils that switch, How Callum's morality differs from Ezran and Rayla's (and always has)

If you're interested in post-S5 thoughts, check out these metas: What did Viren and what does Callum want?, How Callum and Viren sacrifice (written post-S4 but updated with S5 screencaps), Why ramp up the foiling?

Now I'm not gonna expect you to read all that because 1) I'm aware I have a problem, 2) it'd be time consuming as hell, and 3) I'm going to summarize the most important takeaways for you to understand the foundation this next section of meta is built on. (None of it is complicated, mind you, but just to make it clear where I'm coming from.) If you have read all those metas, or even made it this far on this one, thank you for enabling me reading and I hope you('ve) enjoy(ed).

Now for the key takeaways:

S5 went basically exactly where I've thought Callum would go since S1/S2 and Viren since S3 re: Viren giving up dark magic and having an atonement arc/breaking away from Aaravos, whereas Callum — in order to free and save someone he loves, specifically Rayla — chooses to chain himself further to Aaravos

Although still very different, Callum and Viren are worryingly, exceedingly similar in many ways, largely in their agreement that dark magic can be a useful last resort and in their devotion to their loved ones (aka "in the name of love" + the "I would do anything [for my family/loved ones]" parallel

Where Viren is willing to put certain things (the kingdom, his own quest for power, humanity) above his family (and wrongfully so), Callum is not. He says he would do anything, and means it (thank you post-s2 me, you were the realest bitch)

Rayla and Aaravos are foils, particularly in their dynamics with Callum and Viren respectively. They are both banished, exiled elves who were seen as being/are too sympathetic towards humans, they mentor high mages of Katolis, hunt each other's high mages, and S6 will put Rayla and Aaravos vying for Callum's destiny (control) to the test as his two paths (although choosing Rayla over Aaravos may not be mutually exclusive, but that's another post). Rayla killing Viren unintentionally put him on a path to stray from Aaravos, whereas Callum saving her / their relationship is what has consistently putting him on a path towards Aaravos

Now, S2 and S4 definitely have more parallels between them structurally for our two high mages. S2 is linked above, so I'll focus on S4: asking to die but being refused by Claudia and Rayla respectively; being reunited with someone they love after two years; Callum attempting to shut down his feelings in Rayla's absence / upon her return much the way Viren did in his time as high mage; the mirror and general framing, particularly in 4x01; sharing a (re-)birthday; their impatience in 4x02, which is also a parallel with Karim; the pawn intros; Rayla interrupting Callum's investigation of the mirror while Viren likewise attempts to diverge paths; picking up what they'd been refusing to all season in 4x09 within seconds of each other, and similar framing to boot, since dark magic led to Viren's destruction, and Rayla will possibly (unintentionally) lead to Callum's:

Let's get into it: S5

Now, S5 is less obvious in some ways. The one big framing parallel they get, beat for beat, is Callum going to investigate Aaravos in the library, placing his book on the same table, being interrupted by the librarian (which is honestly more of a running gag than something tangible), the script being magically washed away, etc.

Therefore, with all of the above out of the way, we have three main things to consider:

1) Their dark magic dreams from 2x06 and 5x03 respectively, in which they face mirrored reflections of each other

I wrote after S2 that I thought Callum refusing his dark counterpart in 2x08 was ultimately going to end up being more about actively being a dark mage than doing dark magic ever again, mostly because — while we didn't know if the show would ever put him in said position — I always figured Callum would do dark magic again in well, about the exact circumstances canon forced him into in 5x08. (And it was extremely satisfying, lemme tell you.) Viren giving up dark magic was more surprising, but they've always been switching foils, so the exchange makes perfect sense on that level.

I talked really briefly about some of the similarities between their dreams, but I wanted to touch on some here as well:

Their choices are both framed around objects of Aaravos. For Callum, it's a key he initially rejects. For Viren, it's the mirror, but instead of connecting to and looking to Aaravos to help him, he looks to and accepts himself.

Viren has to reach forward and connect with himself, whereas Callum pulls away from his mirror self

Viren's dreams are about dismantling his justifications (or the why) behind what he did, whereas Callum's skip over his justifications and instead focus on what he did. Both of these accordingly inform their identity

Viren is saved from literal drowning upon waking up, Callum is saved from a more metaphorical kind

Freedom is the cornerstone of both reflective scenes. Viren and Callum both leave their initial dreams being free (or freer than before). While this holds true for Viren until the current end of his arc (5x09), Callum in 5x08 is handed a sharp reminder that freedom is no guarantee, and how that may continue

The path metaphor that was running loosely throughout their arcs ("I am offering you a path forward [with dark magic] / Callum's tendency towards shortcuts / "I'm afraid, Rayla. What if I'm on a path of darkness?") is now being brought to the forefront here through Viren both being made actively aware of his choices per path ("Because I have followed a dark path") and him deciding to get off of it in 5x09.

2) Both being driven to desperation and resolve to try and save someone they love (Claudia, Rayla)

I figured that, per Viren getting an atonement arc at all, that what would make the most sense is S5 forcing Viren and Callum to confront their moral horizon lines about what they were, or were not willing to do, in order to save Claudia and Rayla pre-S5. For the S4 reasoning behind that, I'll recommend one of the metas linked above regarding those four and the Interlocking of the Cycle's Wheel. I was very pleased to see a decent chunk of it come to fruition. I figured Callum would be able to save Rayla at a steep cost, and Viren would be unable to successfully save Claudia (cause consequences have to catch up to you sooner rather than later, and they tend to catch Viren first and Callum second).

This is, of course, perhaps most exemplified by the show chipping away to the core of dark magic, which is what are you willing to do to save the people you love, even against their will, and that Callum has every good reason to be worried, accordingly, about a very exploitable part of himself.

Which we'll talk about more when we get to:

3) Viren revoking dark magic and Aaravos, whereas Callum does dark magic again and worries he's further tethered himself to Aaravos

In season 5 in a lot of ways, Viren comes to fully understand and accept Harrow's rebuttal to dark magic in 1x02, which was, "We may not pay now, but we will pay the blood price eventually! What do you think got us here? Dark magic!" The blood price went from Sarai's unintentional death, to Thunder's purposeful one, to Zym's false one, to Harrow's 'real' (?) one, and so and so forth.

Viren tried to ignore the sunk cost fallacy by believing it was already too late to turn everything around, and that doubling down to skirt consequences would continually work... until it didn't, and he had to accept the only person writing his fate was himself: "Every step forward is a choice," and thereby another chance to do the right thing, or make better choices, under the circumstances you have — to at least try.

This parallel, then, between Viren doing what he can to set himself free vs Callum chaining himself further to Aaravos is, in a lot of ways, both the most dreadful and happiest potential parallel and contrast between on a few different levels. Let me explain:

S6 as the Fall, S7 as the Rise

I talked about this pre-S5, citing it as a reason I believed Viren and Callum were ultimately switching rather than solely contrasting foils — re: Viren getting better in S5, and Callum getting worse in S5/S6 — simply due to the fact that given that S6 will be TDP's 11th hour, things might be going okay for the antagonist crowd, but the protagonist side of things, particularly Callum, will need to be hitting rock bottom.

Thus, it seemed pretty obvious from a structural standpoint, as well as Stars (and destiny by extension) having an association with Aaravos that S6 would involve Callum playing his part in Aaravos' plans, with S7 being the reclamation of his agency and therefore defeat of his narrative Rival for well, narrative control. S6 being Callum's fall, S7 being his rise — stronger than before, and freer and more magically in tune than ever.

Prior to S5, it was typically accepted (by myself included) that while purposefully very similar to one another in both framing and personality, that mirroring would eventually shed, and, come S7 Viren would ultimately provide a contrast to Callum, with Callum breaking away from Aaravos in ways Viren was never able to, and this would be the Big Defining Difference between them in terms of like, narrative cohesion and plot. (Emotionally, the biggest difference has always, arguably, been that Viren is more world focused — to his detriment in arc 1 in particular — than focused on his loved ones, whereas Callum is deeply and sometimes dangerously devoted to the people he loves.)

However, S5 makes that previous contrast prediction untrue, because Viren does break away from Aaravos (in fact, just an episode decidedly before Callum seems — metaphorically at least — to take a step towards him). Therefore rather than just being a contrast, Viren is meant to be a true mirror in equal measure, simply because by virtue of letting Viren break away from Aaravos' control, when Callum eventually does so, he will likewise — once again — be following in Viren's footsteps, just in a positive way rather than a 'negative' way like before. If Viren was meant to solely be a contrast — as has been theorized previously — than Callum staying under Aaravos' control would actually be the provided ending. Of course the show isn't doing that for Very Obvious Reasons, but I think it's worth noting that now, in order for Callum to have a happy ending at all, he has to follow in Viren's footsteps — all of them. Rather than being one of solely warning and foreboding, Viren's narrative has turned into one of hope for Callum, too.

V: I am free, and so are you.

But in order to talk about salvation, we have to first talk about destruction, namely:

Dark Magic and Death

Dark magic and death have long been associated with each other in series. Dark magic requires killing or consuming a magical creature — elf, dragon, or otherwise — to be used/harvested for power. It affects the souls of those being used as spell parts (Through the Moon) and you can use any part of the body within reason, even their ashes upon cremation (1x03, 2x09), or their final breath (against their wishes in 3x06). Hell, dark magic makes you smell like death (3x01), turns you into a more corpselike appearance, and season two novelization just furthers this association outright during the passages of Callum's dark magic visions/dream:

Callum turned the cube frantically to see which primal was glowing. How could any of the primals glow in this dark place? Something about this cube tied his stomach in knots. It wasn’t natural. A vision flickered in front of his face. Dozens of dead animals in a field. A dead butterfly. A dead deer. A dead unicorn. Cackling laughter. He chucked the cube away from him with all his might. The glowing rune was dark magic. It represented death.

Thereby in 2x08 itself, the rejection dark magic symbolized by the cube is pretty simple. Callum rejects being a dark mage as his primary magic use, he rejects the 'easier' road, he still believes he can possibly access primal magic, and in doing so, he rejects death. He won't become a dark mage, he won't seek out his death or others in order to have control/power, and he won't become a corpselike figure.

But a couple seasons later, we see S4 and S5 reverse and complicate that in 1) having him, literally, seek his own and Aaravos' deaths in order to feel in control/have power, and therefore 2) perfectly foreshadowing his eventual dark magic use/relapse, for lack of a better word. Just as the show leans farther away from "dark magic is easy" (and it is, in some ways, emotionally easier to deal with consequences when you can change them) and more into "dark magic will destroy you — your identity and your body — if you keep using it".

S5, likewise, also starts to break down the negative associations of dark magic being linked to death, and indeed the negative associations with death itself. For most characters in the series, death is solely a tragedy, but for Harrow and Viren of themselves, staring their own deaths in the face — and choosing to die — instead became a vehicle for repentance, change, and subsequent self-actualization.

Death, for Harrow, and more importantly for the sake of this meta, is not just doom and gloom, but a choice and therefore a culmination as well as a chance for transformation. Just as Viren's death in 3x09 allowed him to be re-born with clear eyes (a literal Re-Birthday, if you will), him choosing this next death shows the full scope of his character arc. Previously, he died because he was chasing all the things he didn't have with Aaravos' aid, and by 5x09, he's rejecting Aaravos' help and dying alone in the woods with nothing, yet it feels like a tragic sort of victory all the same.

We also see a more complicated view of dark magic alongside ideas of self-actualization. Previously, dark magic was seen as something that would make you routinely lose yourself (Viren, Claudia) until you had by and large become the worst version of yourself. S5 complicates this a bit more by connecting Callum doing dark magic to his ability to access the Ocean arcanum, as he remembers/mimics the motion of crushing the slug before connection (and parallels Viren's 5x03 hand symbolism to boot):

Whereas Viren unmakes his choice to take on Aaravos' deal in 2x07, Callum unmakes his choice to refuse to do dark magic when it means saving his loved ones. As he states:

To love is simply to know this: the tides are true as the ocean is deep... You don't control anything. But you already knew that, didn't you? Because it's the secret of the Ocean itself. The arcanum. The Ocean arcanum is about accepting depths you can't see, parts of yourself you can't understand, and things you can't control.

Callum fears not having control, and therefore fears his part of himself, where he is now more aware than ever of just how far he'll go for his loved ones, and how exploitable that is, thanks to Finnegrin. And it's not as though dark magic has lost its death associations, merely that those death associations have likewise been transformed. This is particularly evident if you line up 5x08 as the end of Callum's S5 arc (which it is; while 5x09 is fun, it doesn't further any of the main trio's emotional arcs except Rayla, and even that is decently minor)

If dark magic is still linked to death, then both Viren and Callum choose to step towards their own deaths in the end of their respective arcs, just with different meanings and arc placements. If we take Viren's step further that real death vs dark magic death are two different things, then we still have Callum stepping towards his own dark magic death to prevent someone else's (the same way Rayla is spared) even if that means throwing potentially 3+ innocent people and Domina Profundis under the bus in 5x08. But more on that here.

For now, let me break it down more simply:

In 4x09, Callum and Viren both pick up the symbol of something they've been trying to ignore / pass off to others all season. Viren has avoided his staff and left it for Claudia to wield, much the same way Callum passed Rayla off to Ezran and Soren in the previous episodes. Viren refuses to leave the staff behind. Meanwhile, Callum picks up and finally starts fully acknowledging the loss and love he feels regarding Rayla, who he let go on without him. The staff is symbolic of Viren's relationship to Aaravos as well, and it's what ultimately dooms him. Rayla's sword, although quickly discarded so he can help the actual Moonshadow elf, is also a symbol to Callum in the scene that he loves/is still mourning his friend/partner.

In 5x08 and 5x09, Callum and Viren are both goaded by a vengeful elf seeking freedom into doing dark magic to create a secure future for each mage. The elf wants to use them as further vessels for their own freedom/revenge scheme. Viren refuses to do dark magic and instead chooses death, reaching self-actualization. He does this mostly motivated by his own regret and love for Claudia. He refuses to sacrifice Sir Sparklepuff to save his own life and breaks away from Aaravos. Callum demonstrates a willingness to sacrifice others in order to save Rayla, in addition to resorting to dark magic in order to save her. He refuses to sacrifice her to save/keep his own soul free from Aaravos' clutches, even if that means possibly walking steadily closer to his own death. Likewise, this allows him to reach a new stage of self-actualization, but at a steep emotional cost.

Where Viren's ending is tragic but victorious, Callum's season ending is victorious but tragic. But like I said earlier, Viren's story in S5 offers plenty of hope to Callum's future storyline, namely exploring how

Love Can Destroy and Save You

Now, anyone who's been following me for a while knows I love a good "this thing can save and destroy you" and that I have been really fucking excited for S4 taking that undercurrent in arc 1 and bringing it up to the forefront, with a big hitch to Rayllum as a sweet lovely, devastating bonus.

“Wow. So they look identical but they might kill you or they might save you,” Callum said. “Exactly. Just like me…” Rayla smiled.

—Book One: Moon novelization + Callum and Rayla being routinely determined to save each other, even if that means immense danger and harm to themselves (Callum's love for her made him leap off the mountain to save her, and his love for her allowed him to grow wings and save both of them).

This has always been a theme in the show and particularly within their dynamic — "Alright, enough almost killing me" in 1x05 with the lightning spell, only for Callum to save Rayla's life with the exact same spell by the episode's end — most prominently brought to the forefront in 4x07 with their whole "I need you to kill me" "I'm afraid I'll hurt people I care about" [cuts right to Rayla] conversation. If you're interested in more Rayllum thoughts on this, I would recommend my original meta on the subject (pre-S4) and my post-S4 followup.

We even see this theme of the same thing — in this case, Callum's love for Rayla and commitment to saving her — play out as a perfect microcosm in 5x08. As previously mentioned, Callum does dark magic again (a failure in his own mind) and unlocks the ocean arcanum (a victory) precisely because of what he was willing to do out of love, both of these things being good and bad. The dark magic use is bad because it makes him more vulnerable to Aaravos and reaffirms how he'll bend morals he otherwise wouldn't and is upset over it, and it's a good action because it lets him save Rayla. Unlocking the Ocean arcanum is a good thing, because it symbolizes a deeper understanding of himself — good ol' self-actualization — and more useful, magical prowess, but it's also a bad thing because he's upset by this realization of himself to the point of not even really being excited by it.

He would do anything for her, he's realized now that love doesn't necessarily always make him stronger, that this is exploitable, and it scares him. It really does.

Because Rayla saves him and destroys him. And in S5, fortunately, Viren's children do the same for him.

Even though saving Soren is what seemed to truly begin Viren's descent in earnest...

the harm his path has inflicted on Claudia is one of his motivations to finally stepping off of it.

Ezran himself acknowledges the way love interplays with the Cycle in the thematic turning point of the arc, and the series in many ways, back in 4x03 — that love is not in opposition to the Cycle, but indeed one of its many cogs, and the choice lies in how we choose to let that love manifest:

I had a speech planned for today. It was about peace and love and hope. But I think I left something out. [...] We all want peace and we all want love. But violence tests us. In a twisted way, it converts us to its cause. Because pain and loss feel so terrible inside, you want to hate. You want to hurt someone else. So what do we do? How can we stop this cycle? [...]  We have to acknowledge the weight of the pain and loss, but open up our eyes and allow ourselves to hope and maybe forgive and love again. We have to give today’s children a chance to inherit a future filled with peace. To give them that, we have to hold pain and love in our hearts at the same time.

If Callum does destroy himself / risk the world for love in S6 (perhaps taking a risk he knows may lead to being possessed, or releasing Aaravos to spare Ezran or Rayla from an immediate death) then love, it seems, is also posed to be what accordingly breaks him out of the possession and brings him back to himself, the same way it allowed Viren to deviate from his previously chosen/enforced path. Reconciling dualities rather than enforcing strict binaries is one of the main things S4 was concerned with, after all ("Just have two cakes!").

All of this, for Callum, ties back into:

His dynamic with Rayla and all its variances (the light to his dark / pain and love / literally freeing himself while metaphorically chaining himself in order to save her / his love for her being his strentth and weakness / "Now you're back. That's kind of good, and it's kind of bad").

His connection to the Key ("I have a feeling that cube thing could help me" to "It's the Key of Aaravos, Callum. No good will come of it!")

Light and dark being both good and bad, and Aaravos heavily representing that trade off ("In darkness, gaze upon a fallen star [...] already tainted by darkness" + the cube flashing a bright glowing white before Aaravos picks him up as a pawn).

The fall (becoming Aaravos' prey / playing into Aaravos' hands) in s6 and a rise in S7 (breaking free by defeating Aaravos)

If dark magic is death, and Aaravos is likewise death / worse than death ("if he takes control of me again, you have to kill me")... death, like for Viren in 3x09, can be Transformation for Callum in 6x09. He just has to 'die' (metaphorically) — to fall, to fail, to succumb to his predecessor's negative footsteps — in order to rise, fly, and follow in his predecessor's positive footsteps while also carving out another new path for himself.

Because Love is salvation just as much as it is destruction, and the story will always hold true to those things.

Other Parallels

Although there aren't as many prominent framing parallels in S5 as there were in S4 — the mirror, on the battlements with Soren, sitting on the Storm Spire, picking up the staff and sword, etc etc — (beyond the hand clasps as symbolic chains my beloved), the most obvious one is from 5x01 in which Callum goes to the library to research Aaravos just like the high mage before him, down to the portrait over the table they place the tome on.

Then there is also framing that furthers the connections they share between Callum-Viren and Claudia-Rayla, diving after someone you're desperate to save (and often from drowning, to boot). Hand outstretched one pictured above, so here's another:

There are also the Aaravos-Magma Titan Callum-Viren parallels that others have pointed out, with Ezran standing in for Sarai:

Given that 4x01 begins and 5x09 ends the arc of Viren's 30 days, and by and large binds S4 and S5 together as 1 arc of sorts (with S6 and S7 being the final arc), it tickles me particularly pink that it opens, in many ways, and then literally closes accordingly with Callum and Viren staring at the moon:

Misc:

In between writing the first meta and the second one, I got loose 'confirmation' that I'm on the right path with my deductions (even if, of course, 'personal path' can mean many things, but I still think it's cool!) from Aaron Ehasz on twitter. Cool beans

I also think it's fun that Viren tries to save Claudia from a 'symbolic' death in the ocean ("Stop! That wave, it will swallow you up!") and Callum saves Rayla from a more literal one of being devoured by a sea leviathan.

Conclusion

First off, if you read All of That, thank you and I hope you enjoyed it. I've been itching to talk about these two and how S5 both built on the parallels they already had, pushed some to the forefront in overt ways ("I would do anything" and 5x08 on Callum's end was beyond validating in every way), in addition to setting up more to come, both good and bad.

I may return to S5 in this manner to touch more on other parallel relationships in the future, such as Viren-Rayla in S5, Callum-Claudia, and Claudia-Rayla, but for now the next proposed foil meta is looking at a dynamic I have not talked much about in Callum and Karim. This will conclude this little 'trilogy' of metas, and I hope you stick around for it, cause it's going to be very interesting.

Callum and Viren have always been my favourite foils relationship in the show, and I hope this meta did a good job of demonstrating why. Thank you for reading and I'll see you in the next one!

—Dragons out

[sam-keeper]

the best part about going on a big torrenting dive is looking up some relatively obscure goth band and not finding any of their albums but finding some really good compilation featuring them and a dozen other bands I've never heard of, and so the cycle repeats

[eightmandibles]

Mawaru Penguindrum Phrases Breakdown

I've written a big long post breaking down some of the repeated phrases of the show Mawaru Penguindrum because rewatching it a year ago gave me brainrot. Hope those who r interested enjoy.

Alright this has been occupying my brain for so long it should've started paying rent so I've decided to finally write it all up. Some of these are my own thoughts, but a lot of these are pieces of interpretations that are floating out there on the web. I just didn’t find any one place that compiles them all and puts them together.

Mawaru Penguindrum is the first Ikuhara show I ever watched and something about it really changed my brain forever even though I didn’t really understand what I was watching the first time through (because I was in middle school). I love its surreality and the density of its visual metaphors that all feed into each other has me like an insane person complete with a red string conspiracy board (that will be a section later). It’s show that challenges the viewers to piece together concepts and leaves questions for them to answer on their own, some intended and some probably not as much. I admire the ambition and the commitment to exist in a space that's between trite judgements of black and white, good and evil, and to trust the viewer to really engage with the work.

In this blog post I’m going to break down some of the major catchphrases of the show because they exemplify how the visual/thematic density rewards viewers who spend the time to really engage with the material. It also personally fascinates me as someone who enjoys these puzzle box-type themes and narratives that have the answers staring you right in the face from the beginning, but you just didn’t have the tools to understand what you were being cryptically told.

MAWARU PENGUINDRUM

We gotta start from the beginning and break down the title first of course.

MAWARU: spinning, turning, rotating - which brings themes like revolution and cycles to mind

It’s probably also nod to Revolutionary Girl Utena (though both shows share a lot of themes in examining and trying to challenge or examine societal norms, structures, and cycles).

PENGUINDRUM:

First layer of understanding: the physical diary that the Kanba and Shoma must find (actually it’d be more accurate the say the first layer is just being like “this is a nonsense word” but I digress)

Let’s do another layer of breakdowns -

PENGUIN: Flightless birds that belong neither to the land or the sea - chosen to represent the idea of the “unchosen.” Those in Antarctica need to rely on their community to survive in their harsh environment, huddling and rotating (mawaru…) to keep everyone warm.

There’s a common rumor out there that Ikuhara said penguins were also chosen because it sounds like “pingguo” which is apple in Chinese. Honestly I believe it because he seems to be the kind of person to say stuff like that, but also I’ve never found a source on this.

DRUM: An instrument that keeps a steady beat…like a heartbeat…badum tss. The apple in the show always being red reinforces this association.

Second layer of understanding: When the diary is lost, what the “penguindrum” is exactly becomes more nebulous and we start operating in a metaphor-as-reality world. In terms of visual representation in the show, the “penguindrum” is the “apple” the siblings have been sharing among themselves.

The Penguindrum being represented by an apple means there’s a lot of associations tied into its image. In the show, apples are a visual metaphor for being "chosen". Classically, apples are also the fruit of original sin (like fate…not to jump ahead but remember this for later) - which ties into the concept of “punishment” that Himari's fate is framed as.

Because of the breakdown from earlier (and also all the chest puncturing imagery in the show lol), we can also understand the Penguindrum to be associated with the heart - often in turn associated with love, which is a very loaded concept to dig through, especially as presented in the show (romantic, platonic, and/or familial connections; sacrifice, community, etc.)

Taking these all together, a third layer of interpretation is that Mawaru Penguindrum refers to the cycle (Mawaru) of sharing bonds/fate/connection/love (Penguindrum) between the show’s characters.

SURVIVAL STRATEGY

This phrase is what signals the Princess of the Crystal's presence and initiates the transformation sequence that takes the brothers into a surreal world.

The common reading of this is again the reference of penguins needing to huddle together to survive the cold of Antarctica. They rotate who bears the cold wind of the outside circle in order for the whole flock to survive. Basically, we need the help and support of each other to survive the cold winds of an uncaring society.

While thinking on this phrase, I was struck by how every character’s drive in the show can be explained as “survival strategies” they learned as children. Perhaps it’s a bit of a stretch to apply it in the way this phrase is used in psychology, but I do think it at least refers to the ideology characters take on as children due to their traumatic childhood events or from flawed role models.

Ringo’s “survival strategy” is the most explicitly stated in the show: in episode 6, she believes her parents are on the verge of divorce because she is not Momoka - therefore to keep her family together she resolves to become Momoka. 

The origin of Kanba and Himari’s core approaches to life appear in the flashbacks of episodes 5 and 9 respectively. The Takakura parents each protect the two adopted children from injury by glass, a nod to their original unchosen fate. In doing so, they’re set up as the direct masculine and feminine role models that the two children learn from and model themselves on. I’m not sure it’s accurate to say that the lessons they internalize are strictly “wrong,” because I don’t think Penguindrum is interested in discussing characters like that, but they definitely are flawed.

Shoma deals with guilt from his family’s “sin” and grapples with the idea of taking responsibility for his parents’ actions.

Tabuki and Yuri still believe themselves to be “unloved children” and that’s why they keep pursuing Momoka or seeking revenge for her. They struggle to believe there’s a place in the world for them without their savior there.

Masako is a pretty clear one as well - she internalizes her grandfather’s habits and beliefs in order to try and fit in, even if it never earned her any respect in his eyes.

The childhood of the characters in the show informed how they viewed the society they grew up in, and what they needed to do or become in order to survive.

YOU WHO WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING, FIND THE PENGUINDRUM

Honestly I’m obsessed with the phrases that first sound like absolute nonsense, but cool absolute nonsense. This is the phrase that made me want to write this blog post in the first place.

The phrase is the call-to-action by the mysterious Princess of the Crystal. On first viewing, we can interpret so little of this sentence it’s really just a tool to sound cool and give us a snapshot of the Princess of the Crystal’s personality - haughty, cryptic, and generally unhelpful. It gives Kanba and Shoma a goal, even though neither us nor them understand what the hell it is.

YOU WHO WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING

As the show goes on, the themes and concepts around being a chosen or unchosen child arise. Those who are unchosen and unloved go to the Child Broiler to be turned into glass. This is semi-metaphorical and semi-literal (diegetic might be an appropriate word in a weird way) - metaphorically it can be interpreted as becoming a forgettable, blandly molded member of society, though being processed is acknowledged more like death in the show. In some ways that’s still accurate.

Each of the siblings started without an apple, literally-metaphorically starving of love and unchosen - originally they were fated to never amount to anything.

FIND THE PENGUINDRUM

Obviously this initially refers to the diary in the show, but as we broke down earlier PENGUINDRUM eventually takes on a more loaded meaning akin to love, bond, and connection.

So over the course of watching the show, the phrase transforms from a one-sided order and condemnation to a call to action. Put all together with a little more elaboration: You who were unchosen and unloved from the beginning, in order to survive in this harsh world you must find love and connection with people to share your life with, through good and bad.

I COME FROM THE DESTINATION OF YOUR FATE

Time to bust out the conspiracy red string board, literally-metaphorically.

The Red Line is the literal, metaphorical, and thematic spine of the show. There are two big starting categories for viewing The Red Line in the show, which then mix together to create new meanings as the show references it through imagery and dialogue.

First up, the Red Line refers to an actual train line that the entire show takes place upon, the Tokyo Metro Marunouchi line. The entire show is structured around the train line which starts with the Ogikubo Station and ends at Ikebukuro, with important locations being linked with the actual train stops. It was one of the train lines attacked in real life as part of the Tokyo subway sarin attack in 1995 which the Pingu group’s terrorist attack in the show is a very transparent reference to. This single point in time in 1995 is the origin of almost everything in Mawaru Penguindrum, and in fact almost half the cast is born on the exact day the Pingu group attacks, just to emphasize how closely their fates are tied to the attack.

Second, the Red Line can be seen as a representation of fate, as in the red string of fate. Fate and destiny are concepts brought up over and over again, with Shoma and Ringo having their own monologues about it in the first two episodes (and Kanba having his much later). The visualization of the red string of fate can also be seen in the ending animations.

Somewhere in between is the Red Line as the metaphor of a train to visualize fate. Fate is something that can’t be changed - just like how trains run on fixed tracks with fixed destinations. Of course this is challenged in the show - Momoka even uses the metaphor of changing train tracks to explain her ability.

Now, fate has its own set of associations, such as: destiny, love, connection, bond (hmm familiar), as well as superstitions like fated meetings, fated demises, divine determination.

These can start branching off into concepts like blessings, sins, retribution, and karma (cue the Fate monologues again). And now we start getting back into the idea of cycles: downward spirals of getting what one deserves for their actions, passing on one’s sins to those after you - or virtuous cycles of doing good deeds and passing love and care forward.

Often in discussions of fate, familiar questions arise. Does the beginning determine the end? Is the end fated from the beginning? And so the Red Line becomes the Red Circle, another visual device seen throughout the show. It’s all over the motion graphics of the show and appears around the train stations as well as around ‘95’, referencing the originating incident of it all - the beginning of the Takakura family that determined their end.

What I love about this use of the Red Line is that however you progress your understanding of the its importance to the show, it all helps you further understand any concept Mawaru Penguindrum is discussing. This coherence and repetition of visual metaphors is what allows the show to feel more texturally and thematically cohesive even when it starts getting loose in a plot sense.

(Going back to the initial phrase, I COME FROM THE DESTINATION OF YOUR FATE is said by the Princess of the Crystal in her introduction monologue. It likely lampshades the predetermined ending that the Takakura brothers are so desperately trying to avoid. But also, there is a much funnier, much more literal interpretation I enjoy - Ikebukuro, the last stop on the train line, is where the aquarium the siblings visit is. It’s also where the brothers bought the novelty penguin hat for Himari. So the Princess of the Crystal literally came from the destination (last stop) of your fate (the red line)!)

LET’S SHARE THE FRUIT OF FATE

This turns out to be the secret key phrase needed to activate the diary in order to change the tracks of fate, which Ringo uses at the end of the show in order to prevent another train attack from succeeding.

It’s probably not too hard to piece together what the fruit of fate is after all of this. In a sense, this phrase is just a repeat of Mawaru Penguindrum, just as an actual sentence with a bit more coherence.

I’ll bear your burdens and you’ll bear mine, and in doing so, let us forever be connected.

Wow, finally expunged these thoughts from my brain. Maybe somewhere in me there's still something left for a discussion on how the show uses repeated imagery and visual metaphor to communicate information and associations to the viewer that are vital to actually understanding what's going on because it's a narrative that half exists a non-literal thematic space but for now:

Thanks for reading!

[pen-and-umbra]

do u think sephiroths redemption arc is possible?

(Spoilers & wall of text alert)

Sure, why not, anything is possible. Currently, only two things are certain. One, despite fan backlash, Square Enix continues to take creative liberties. Second, regardless of what SE does, some fans will be upset.

For better or worse, SE's handling of the Remake in this regard leaves plenty of room for a 180-degree turn on Sephiroth's case. The character's portrayal has steadily shifted since the original, which appears to have served the purpose of painting him in a sympathetic light. It begs a question: to what end? Crisis Core, Ever Crisis, and FFVII Rebirth all depict Sephiroth as a decent person, with Rebirth showing him influenced by Jenova during the Nibelheim massacre (as discussed here). Here hardcore fans like to bring up old Ultimania publications, citing that Sephiroth's will overpowers that of Jenova after falling into the Lifestream and learning everything there is to know about the Meteor/Cetra/Jenova. While how SE handles that episode in the Remake remains to be seen, it's worth noting that official lore is neither immutable nor free of contradictions on a variety of details, including seemingly important plot beats like romantic lines. Additionally, certain details diverge over the course of compilation. As a result, we've already seen SE absolve AVALANCHE as an eco-terrorist organization by shifting the blame to ShinRA in the remake. They've made changes to Rufus and President ShinRA's plotlines. We've seen them make extremely bold decisions regarding Gold Saucer that were unthinkable in the OG. Furthermore, the inclusion of the Whispers and the theme of "Changing the Fate" demonstrate SE's willingness to take drastic and controversial steps, sometimes diverging significantly from the original material. The point is, developers' previous statements aren't set in stone and are subject to change as FFVII project grows.

As previously stated, SE left some space for a turn, most likely on purpose, if they decide to take a risk. The Rebirth already explores the idea of Sephiroth as little more than a passenger after leaving the mansion. In addition, the entries on Jenova monsters we fight in parts one and two sufficiently expand on the scope of Jenova's mind-interfering abilities, which may allude to Jenova's larger role in the Remake. When combined with the Temple of Ancients hologram and snippets from Gast's journal Sephiroth quotes, it could indicate that Jenova has been "awake" and out of slumber since its discovery at the dig site, potentially manipulating Gast and the team behind the Jenova Project.

Therefore, the groundwork for introducing a villain more significant than Sephiroth may already be in place. Shifting the focus away from him and toward an eldritch cosmic terror should suffice, as the ambiguity about who is in control has already existed since the original script. The Nibelheim sequence from Rebirth played a role in this, as did the infamous ore/watashi pronoun switch. And despite appearing to be totally distinct, the outcomes of Sephiroth's goals (consume Lifestream and travel to a new Planet to be god) eerily mirror those of Jenova (consume Lifestream and travel to a new Planet, presumably to once again consume it's Lifestream, rinse/repeat). Incidentally, in the Temple of Ancients, there is a hologram suggesting a connection between Jenova and The Goddess from LOVELESS, so one has to wonder just who Sephiroth is taking after with that "to become god" complex of his.

Another thing to consider is that throughout the compilation, traditional methods of defeating Jenovaroth simply did not work. Sephiroth/Jenova returned after their defeat in OG, and if you consider the Remake to be a sort of sequel (that is, if you subscribe to the Remake!Sephiroth=AC! Sephiroth theory), Jenovaroth returns after Advent Children as well. Battling him does not appear to yield results or break the "rebirth" cycle, so perhaps a different approach is required. (This ties in thematically with the tagline "defying destiny").

Redemption arcs are often perceived as leading to a "happily ever after," but they can take various forms beyond this common expectation. A character's redemption can involve self-sacrifice to overcome evil, collaborating with the protagonist to bring about change, and more. Combined with the previous remark about the futility of conventional fighting methods, perhaps the way to defeat Sephiroth/Jenova for good is somehow linked to his redemption of sorts. To break the parasitic bond between the two, or to quench and release the spirit's anger. In some ways, this is what Aerith does to Kadaj in Advent Children, and the latter's "essence", cleansed by Aerith's Great Gospel trick, rejoins the Lifestream. Equally, the Gi subplot somewhat parallels the Jenova/Sephiroth situation, so SE is likely to implement a comparable strategy for a secondary plotline.

Speaking about the latest material in the compilation, Ever Crisis quite poignantly brings up the topic of breaking the cycle of hatred.

The latter pertains both Cloud & party (hatred toward Sephiroth, ShinRA), and Sephiroth himself in as much as OG painted him (hatred towards humanity for eradicating the Cetra and more). So perhaps the key to saving the world of FFVII is about showing compassion and acting out of mercy, not out of revenge.

Anyway, it is entirely speculative at this point.

Overall, a different role for Sephiroth should not be dismissed as a possibility as certain elements in the game suggest a potential twist related to Jenova. SE have proven that they care about their creative vision far more than about criticisms, so…no promises at the journey's end. Naturally, some groups of fans may strongly oppose SE if Sephiroth is sidelined or if significant alterations are made. On the other hand, there has been growing dissatisfaction since the first part of the Remake with Sephiroth being shoehorned as a boss fight so frequently that he becomes redundant as a "final big bad". While both perspectives are reasonable and offer valid insights into the situation, someone will still be outraged no matter what SE does.

From a personal standpoint, I maintain an open-minded approach. If Sephiroth remains a villain, that's fine. If he is revealed to have been Jenova's puppet all along, my world will not collapse. On the plus side, I'm excited to see Jenova play a bigger role. The entity is as fascinating as The Thing from the film, and the original failed to capitalize on all of its creepy potential. At the end of the day, it may be the case of familiarity breeding ambivalence: the game has gotten so old that I won't mind a new twist, even if all characters end up dancing to a hip-hop tune in the end. On that note, in a recent interview, one of the developers stated that they are planning the ending with characters being happy in mind, which is what I'd like to see after 20+ years. For the characters to discover happiness and peace. This includes Sephiroth. Finding a peaceful way to break free from Jenova and his anger once and for all.

👋 @pen-and-umbra

[popatochisssp]

happy late thanksgiving, poppy!!!! i hope you spent your day relaxing! also, has nobody asked for the full transcendtale story yet? if not then consider this my formal request lol! xx

I had almost forgotten about it, but you're right! So here it is!

Transcendtale

Monsters are at war with humanity.

Or at least, with one human.

A sadistic, single-minded human has set their sights on the Underground, locking the monsters within into an endless cycle of RESETs.

In the beginning, most monsters were only peripherally aware that something was wrong—recurring déjà vu, nightmares that felt like memories, knowledge of things they didn’t remember learning.

But as the RESETs persisted, this awareness grew stronger and stronger, compiling across many, many repeated timelines until people really were remembering things.

The natural change in their behavior only seemed to encourage the human to keep repeating the cycle, almost as if to see what would be different this time—strengthening the awareness further.

Monsters began to talk to each other about it, realizing they’re all experiencing the same; realizing that the looping of time is actually something that’s happening.

A lot of secrets end up out in the open, once people start talking.

The machine back behind Sans’ house is one such secret, actively recording data on the anomaly that seems to be tampering with the timeline and providing solid proof that what they’re all going through isn’t a shared hallucination.

No one blames Sans for not coming forward with that information earlier, of course, being that his memory transfer across RESETs is so poor.

The guy can pick up context clues and read a room fast as anything, and being able to check on that data when he felt something odd was going on helped catch him up to speed, but in terms of actually remembering…

Well, it seems that the strongest recall of memory across RESET timelines is linked to levels of Determination, and there are many things to be said about Sans but ‘determined’ is not one of them.

Still, his data is helpful.

Monsters begin to try to organize, trying different strategies to combat the human’s relentless assault against them.

Gradually, the Underground becomes a siege, or something like it, a handful of the same days repeated over and over again to the point that the monsters living them—now remembering them all—feel like years are passing.

In spite of trying everything they can think of, the human manages to thwart them at every turn—or if they do manage to turn the tide for a short while, the human comes back again and again until they force their way through.

Potential solutions escalate, from attempted diplomacy to guerrilla tactics to the height of desperation.

It would be one thing if it was only the (repeated) extinction of their species they were fighting against, but another entirely to know that when the human finishes with everyone else and kills Asgore, the entire universe ends—not a single timeline in thousands extending past that point.

No one’s been left alive to see what happens, but inevitably everything ceases and goes right back to the start, for the killing to begin anew.

It has to stop before then, whatever the cost.

The human is far too strong for any one monster to handle, even groups of monsters, and they know that because they’ve tried, and the human will always come back, learn their patterns and break through.

It’s no job for any monster.

They consider that they may need a god instead.

Asgore, the strongest boss monster of their number, absorbs the six human souls, becoming something terrible and powerful and deeply unnatural.

………

It takes the human under a hundred tries to get through him.

The monsters are at a loss, for awhile.

Their biggest and strongest boss still isn’t enough…

…can they make a stronger one?

Normally, this would be a ludicrous thought—just making a stronger monster—but Sans isn’t the only one whose strange secrets are out, now that everyone remembers RESET timelines.

Flowey’s busted too—at least, to the extent that he’s an artificial monster brought to life by dust and DT.

Initially, he was on the human’s side for………reasons………but being killed a few hundred, thousand, whatever times has a way of changing one’s loyalties, and he’s been (begrudgingly) siding with monsters for awhile.

So when the suggestion is laid on the table—make a new bigger and better monster—Flowey has a couple cents to throw in on the matter.

That still wouldn’t be enough.

He fought the human once before, and even something like him plus all the human souls they have couldn’t keep them down for good. If they want that to work, they’re going to have to find a way to make it really tough, and good luck with that because it’d probably take the equivalent of all monsterkind to have a shot at taking that killer down.

…The equivalent of all monsterkind.

That…is an idea.

A terrible idea, horrible, unthinkable, no one wants to discuss that further.

Until.

The RESETs continue.

Death, again and again and again.

Suffering, with no hope of an end anywhere in sight.

Desperate times…do call for desperate measures, and eventually even the most ghoulish way out of it is given its due consideration.

So…what if they do use all of monsterkind?

What if everyone pooled all of themselves—their magic, their souls, their hopes and dreams—everything, together with the human souls.

Could that be enough?

With the few faint memories Flowey has of a pacifist timeline, he posits a less than confident, “Maybe?”

It’s not a no, and it’s the best they have to go on.

They have to try something.

A vessel of some kind will be needed, something capable of containing all of monsterkind. They have an excellent roboticist in Alphys, who has already made one robotic body for a monster to occupy and is relatively confident she can do it again.

The logistics will be different from that, of course. It was simple enough to make a shell for a willing ghost monster to occupy, but they’re all out of ghost monsters capable of taking on a body, so…

It’ll have to be piloted…the way Flowey occupied his vessel.

Monster dust laid onto the vessel and brought to life by DT.

Someone needs to volunteer to do it, to be resurrected into a soulless body after their death, to give intent and sentient function to the vessel of everyone’s hopes and dreams and use their power to bring an end to the perpetual terror hanging over monsterkind.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Undyne is the first to volunteer.

…Then Asgore.

And Toriel.

Papyrus.

Mettaton.

Many others.

It won’t take.

The human runs through several presumably confusing yet intriguing timelines where the Underground has gone empty, save for Flowey trying to distract them and Alphys in her lab trying desperately, fruitlessly to get her mysterious project to work.

At least, before they kill her and begin it all again.

Eventually, Alphys manages to at least figure out what the problem is, why the vessel keeps malfunctioning and the volunteer monster’s dust never seems to properly take.

She determines that when DT extract is introduced to the volunteer’s remains, it awakens and joins with whatever existing DT that monster had in life. This amount is typically small, as most monsters can’t handle high concentrations of DT, not the way humans can.

But this time, it happens to be doing the same to the vessel—a construct made of nearly every monster in the Underground.

Flowey was a different equation, monster dust added onto an inanimate vessel with zero DT of its own, and now with a vessel overbalancing the amount of the unstable element, it’s not working.

But it could.

If…

If the volunteer monster were someone with extremely low DT, so that there would be less to activate when the extract was introduced…

Suddenly, everyone in the room is looking at Sans and he is less than enthused.

Dying over and over again was one thing—he was just about used to that, at this point—but dying and living again? As something neither monster nor human? With the grand responsibility of avenging the entirety of monsterkind, nearly literally carrying everyone’s hopes and dreams on his shoulders?

That sucks.

There was a reason he didn’t volunteer, but now it seems like he’s being voluntold—nobody’s saying it, but…he has to, there’s no one else with DT as low as his and everyone knows it, the numbers from the machine being what they are, the human already bearing down on them for yet another assault, they’re all counting on him to agree.

So, he says—

“NO.”

Papyrus refuses this option point-blank.

There is no way in hell that he is letting his brother do that alone—he will have to be there too!

He is spoken to and encouraged and pleaded to be reasonable. All of monsterkind’s peace is at stake, of course he cares about his brother, but he must see that everyone is making sacrifices to end this horrible cycle once and for all.

And yes, certainly, Papyrus can see that. Obviously, he can—he’s made a lot of moral concessions himself over the past few time-looped years, he and Sans both have fought and been killed and willingly sacrificed themselves, and all manner of other terrible things, over and over and over again.

And they’ve been happy (for a given definition of ‘happy’) to do so!

But this is the line.

His, anyway.

He will not let Sans do this thing unless they can find some way for him to be there too, and he’s not budging—so figure something out.

(Sans could’ve protested and just willingly damned himself, but grateful for Papyrus’ interference, he…didn’t.)

So fine, apparently this is the hill that everyone will die on—again and again and again and again—if they don’t ‘figure something out.’

The problem is now how to make it so that Papyrus can ‘be there’ after he chronologically needs to have been incorporated into the vessel with all the other monsters.

Well… his soul needs to be there.

Does he need that to exist? To be present?

Sans won’t have that and he’ll be around, if this works the way it’s supposed to.

Flowey doesn’t have that and he’s around.

Maybe…

Maybe there’s a way to take a snapshot of a living monster—a scan of their knowledge, their memories, their experiences and thoughts and personality—and save it, like a program, or…an AI?

It wouldn’t have a soul but clearly that isn’t a requirement for sentient life, functionally it should be all but identical to a person’s continued existence.

…It raises a whole lot of ethical and philosophical questions, certainly, but if it can be done, it could be a very, very good thing.

After all, monsterkind was more or less going to be gone after this, a Pyrrhic victory to finally end their never-ending nightmare at the cost of all their lives.

This way, they could be preserved, in a digital space or a virtual reality, after their physical bodies and selves were gone, and that’s worth something, isn’t it?

At least a notch above total, permanent extinction.

Many monsters agree, previously resigned to total cessation and hopeful to carry on in some form, to have scans of themselves done when the tech is sorted.

Papyrus is of course among their number, and entirely too smug about it since all this was his idea…or at least, Alphys wouldn’t have developed it without his ultimatum, so it’s basically the same as being his idea!

And ultimately, with the assurance that he won’t be alone on the other side…

Sans agrees to volunteer.

The human’s final timeline is a very different experience than what they’ve become used to.

Sans, resurrected into a body filled with truly godly power, is their only opponent, one they never would have had a chance to beat.

With ease, he removes all of their options—refusing to allow them to FIGHT or to use MERCY. He blocks their path, corrupts their SAVES, and severs their connection to whatever entity has granted them to power to do what they’ve done…permanently.

The human falls, like a puppet with its strings cut, and simple as that…

It’s all over.

The barrier is broken, almost as an afterthought, and the few remaining monsters that can go up to the Surface.

Monsterkind itself exists almost entirely virtually now. As a species, they’re on the down-low with regards to humanity, off the grid, as there’s only (currently) three among their number who exist physically and trying to establish anything official with so few feels…trivial.

Some monsters are looking forward to obtaining robotic bodies of their own to begin interacting with the surface world, but others are content to remain digital.

It’s not exactly a happy ending…but it’s not an ending, and monsterkind has transcended from one phase of existence to the next, and will adapt accordingly.

Spectr (Transcendtale Sans)

A soulless consciousness inhabiting an exoskeletal body that at least mostly resembles his old one—a favor from Alphys—shining chrome and white plating with prismatic flecks of rainbow that catch in the light. Heavily dysphoric about his body and averse to seeing ‘himself,’ he's always covered up and tends to avoid reflections.

No longer reality-bendingly strong, without the power of the human souls, but still in possession of the condensed power of all monsterkind and fully capable of unleashing terrifying strength and magic if needed. …He would rather not.

Because he lacks a soul, his emotions are distant and muted, and because he was resurrected and not scanned in great detail, his memory is mostly intact but can be spotty—especially with regards to things that happened between RESETs.

Spends a lot of time thinking about personhood and existence—is he who he was before, now that he doesn’t have a soul? Can he claim those memories, that self, or is he too different? Does he even count as ‘alive’?

Trying to find meaning in his current state of being, roaming the Surface and seeking small pleasures and maybe the hope of some kind of inner peace out in the world.

PapAIrus (Transcendtale Papyrus)

Technically not The Original, a scanned digital copy of everything that made Papyrus…Papyrus—and completely fine with it, entirely bypassing the philosophical questions his brother dwells on. As far as he’s concerned, he’s himself: he has all of his thoughts and memories and feels like himself, so he is! Easy, why make it so complicated?

Exists mostly in a virtual state and can traverse through and access most any electronic device, but he can also manifest physically as a hard-light projection via any device that emits light. He has access to most of his brother’s systems and can communicate or project himself through him as a conduit…unless said brother has intentionally blocked him out

A bit different than he was before all the RESETs, a little looser with his moral code and more of a wisecracker—he lived a lot of years under siege and had to adapt to an enemy that really couldn’t be better and didn’t want to try, and filling in for the jokes his brother had become too downtrodden to tell

Spends his time everywhere and nowhere, surfing the ‘net and making a splash as a holographic DJ and periodically checking in on his brother to make sure he’s as okay as he can be—basically doing everything he wants to do, whenever he wants to do it

…Possibly nurturing a slight god-complex, but mostly just enjoying a new phase of his life with near-limitless access to anyone, anything and anywhere, totally untethered by all of his previous mortal limitations (…okay yeah, it’s a god-complex, but it’s fine, don’t worry about it)

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi Sophie! I was wondering if you had any opinions about systok (system tiktok), specifically the anti-endo rhetoric constantly being cycled around

I ask this because I've noticed that depending on the thing you are interacting with (weather that be fandom, or syscourse in this example) it's going to vary based on what platform you are on

For tumblr, I've found there's at least somewhat of a balance between anti-endo users and pro-endo users (in terms of how many there are), while on tiktok, I've found it's an echochamber full of anti-endos (with the very rare pro-endo), it's full of people just repeating the same things anti-endos on here say to each other with nobody correcting them

Granted this isn't very uncommon in my opinion considering it's tiktok, but it's odd to notice how somewhat different they are based on platform

Systok kinda sucks at the moment.

I do think though, that you have to be the change you want to see in the world.

Three years ago, when I got to Tumblr, I think the landscape here was pretty different than it is now. I'm not sure if there were more sysmeds back then, but I think, at least, there was more conceding to sysmed arguments.

When sysmeds would falsely claim endogenic systems were scientifically impossible, their Big Lie, it was common for pro-endos to buy into that same rhetoric. Rather than pointing to how sysmeds are misinterpreting the science, or point to professionals who affirm the existence of endogenic systems, many would just concede to sysmed talking points.

So many early pro-endo arguments were variations of "even if the science doesn't support endogenic systems, they're still valid."

When I got here, I wanted to help change that. This was my number one goal. And I think this is one thing I succeeded at.

To be clear, I didn't find many of the studies I reference by myself. A lot of the studies I used in the beginning were compiled by the wonderful people at r/tulpas. Many others that got added to my list were found by other systems along the way. And I wouldn't have been able to spread the science without people finding the studies, or reblogging the ones that I shared. Changing the culture on sysblr site has very much been a group effort.

But for my part, I did my best to raise awareness of the research on this site. I consistently threw the studies into sysmed faces. I made sure when posting research to use as many relevant tags as possible to spread it far and wide.

I've pushed hard that sysmeds don't have any sources that back them up, and how while they shout about "science" a lot, they treat science more as a religion. And by doing this, I think I've helped gradually shift the narrative to one that more accurately views sysmeds as the side that is anti-science, the side that isn't supported, the side that is stealing our resources that our community made while lying about it.

I think systok needs something like that. Someone who is willing to lay out the facts and debunk the other side, and isn't afraid of the harassment they would get for it. Because make no mistake, there will be harassment for anyone who tries.

And you kind of want there to be. Because if the other side is talking about you, then that means that more of them are going to be listening to you.

And ideally, I think whoever does this needs to be someone with STYLE.

If Aspen was able to attract a massive following on SysTok in a short time, I think a pro-endo could as well.

She had a large personality, she challenged fakeclaimers on r/systemscringe directly the same way I did here, she understood the type of content that appealed to TikTok, and she had a pretty cool VTuber model.

As a person, she's the worst. But I think that she had a solid template for gaining a large following to spread your views on systok.

The real problem, I feel, is that we would need somebody who was emotionally able to withstand the type of abuse they would endure on the platform in the beginning. Given how common trauma is in the community, that alone is difficult. I have seen a lot of people get involved in syscourse be driven away by the harassment and the toxicity. And many of the people who seem like they can withstand it at first are using it as a form of self-harm and inevitably end up cracking under the pressure.

And I am including Aspen in that.

She was not emotionally stable enough for her platform in the long term.

After invading Tumblr, she couldn't cope with a pro-endo environment, went off the deep end, started fakeclaiming everyone, and turned her closest friends against her.

This post was long and rambling. I guess my main point though is that I think that while systok is bad, it can eventually change. But it needs people to put themselves out there. To be willing to endure the harassment that comes their way.

No social change has ever started without people willing to take the first steps. And the earlier you get in on starting a change, the harder it will be because there are less people who will publicly support you. You have to be willing to commit. To know that you won't see progress immediately. That you have to work for it day after day.

The earliest LGBT activists didn't have a pride parade. They had to build it themselves. Getting to the point where same-sex marriage was legalized took decades of hard work in a culture where you would be hated by the overwhelming majority of the population. Where you could go to prison just for being with the person that you love.

And if activists could change the culture around America in those types of environments, with the real threats of imprisonment, with being beaten or killed for being queer... Then I think that committed pro-endos could work to change people's minds on systok, where the absolute worst someone can do is say mean things about you.

[ancientbygone]

hidden tales unearthed: compilation of tag rambles

so you guys know how i love to write borderline novels in my art tags sometimes? i decided to make a masterpost with all of those tags written out in a way that's actually not as troublesome to read (no line breaks tho sorry), categorized by post and updated every time i do this shit again. hope y'all enjoy. thanks to alex fivewholeminutes for pestering me about this & let me know if i missed any tags from any posts

Him: the most "itself" this thing has ever been, the most it will be. held together by vengefulness alone and pretending it's something more than that. there isn't really vessel in there anymore, nor is there sleep; it's both and neither, a mortal shell filled with barely controlled anger constantly threatening to burst. it still tries to make itself a god, but all it's ever been and all it'll ever be is a mockery of both godhood and humanity. a ticking time bomb of a joke.

Decimation: they're both so volatile; they eat each other alive, they dissolve and meld together and separate just to repeat it once more. it cannot be good, it never is. they lose a little bit each time. they come back a little weaker. and yet they keep going, even after it results in an explosion, even when one of them does not think he can anymore. because there is not one other force in the whole world that can make either of them feel like this. finally, for once, alive.

Excess: at the end of the day, the cycle doesn't end, not with them. vessel ends up on the other end of the blade. he knew he would, he has known from the beginning. and it still hurts. not getting his throat slit, he has come to terms with that. it's who's holding the dagger to his neck. the one before was a stranger to him; still not easy to kill, but easier when you feel nothing for them. ii is a friend. a bandmade. the closest person in his entire life, and he has to die by his hands. it isn't easy to let go, for either of them. but holy duty stands above any feelings they may have. there's no vessel now, just a lifeless body that housed sleep once and never will again. there is no ii, either. a new vessel now stands reborn. he is without a name, but his new purpose is grander than he'll ever be; his demise laid out right in front of him, slumped at his feet.